3. Culver's--You all know or have probably seen this commercial for Culver's with that moron in his car is talking to himself about the "butter burger" and crowning himself a grade A d-bag. The Culver's employee then catches him talking to himself in his car. It is then filled with awkward silence and is flat out not funny. Save your money Culver's and just stick to what you know best...making America fat.
2. Olive Garden--This commercial or variation of commercials is filled with unbearable cheesiness. A group of people are all sitting around their table trying to decide what to order. Something to the effect of..."you go with the blah blah blah I am going with the alfredo." Forced shit eating grins and cheesy humor...makes me feel like I am watching Saved By The Bell re-runs!
1. Toyota--"Saved by Zero" This commercial is just flat out annoying and makes me scramble for my remote to flip the channel before it gets lodged in my brain for hours to come. I tend to feel defeated if I do not change it in time. If I find myself mumbling this song as I get my morning coffee at work accompanied by the fact that I am at work and have 8 hours left sends me into a deep morning depression until lunch time. This commercial is not only on TV...it is on the radio. Cant escape it!
Monday, November 17, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Just When You Thought You Have Seen It All...
So I have been delaying getting groceries recently because I cant stand going to get them. Crowded, shopping carts, annoying people in my way and over priced food, not to mention carrying all my bags back up to my apartment.
Well today I made the trip to Target to get my food and got my usual stuff that I always get after work. I usually go on the weekend because I don't like doing much after a day of work but today I am glad I went.
It was a normal shopping experience for the most part until the end was near. I finished my shopping and made my way towards the checkout counter and while there I evaluated which one would be the shortest line and the quickest. Of course I picked the wrong one and got behind this overweight African-American lady who was wearing skin tight sweatpants. At first glimpse she looked normal but after closer review I noticed that she had a huge hole in her pants on the inside of her thigh. Were not talking a small hole we are talking like the size of my hand hole, probably bigger. Completely disgusting and at that point I almost asked the lady who was now behind me in line to let me out so I could return all the food I had just picked up because I was convinced I would never be able to eat again.
During that time of glancing back at the lady behind me it was a positive distraction at the time until she started talking to her little baby like a fucking idiot. After awhile another lady had gathered and the topic was how old the kid was, well my daughter is...blah blah blah. I just shook my head in disgust at this fucking idiot talking to her kid like it was a little puppy. You all know what I am talking about. Well I overheard everything you need to know about this baby and about how he was going to get a bath tonight and she wondered what "daddy" was doing. I gathered myself and was able to move past the now idiot behind me and the lady in front of me just finally figured out her check card and how to use the damn thing so it was now my turn. Complete circus...
Finally it was my time at the checkout counter. Things started out normal and nearing the end of my checkout experience I noticed the lady with the baby crowding my shit and her cart was now in front of the place where I had to swipe my credit card. After maneuvering around her cart that she was too busy to move because she was still talking like a fucking idiot to her child who also thinks she is a moron as I am convinced it was that bad. I proceeded to move forward to leave and she jacks the back of my foot with her cart in my heel. At that point I am real pissed and I turn around doing everything in my power to not go off on this fat bitch and I give her the scowl from hell! As I was walking away I heard her whisper to her little kid..."well that guy isn't very nice!" Hahahahaha she was talking about me! Absolutely priceless!!!
Making my way to the exit and shaking my head in disbelief from what had just happened and thinking that nothing would out do this or top this maybe for the rest of the week or maybe even month it happened...I see an African-American female midget with her normal height Caucasian butch-haircut beefy girlfriend!! I shit you not!!!
Of course they were getting into their Ford F-150 pickup. At that point I thought I was dreaming and had to gather myself in my car before I was able to drive and questioned whether what I had just experienced on this grocery shopping trip had really happened or if I was the victim of candid camera.
After realizing that I had not been dreaming and it was indeed reality and no cameras were in sight, I am sure glad I made that trip to Target this Tuesday the 16th of September.
Well today I made the trip to Target to get my food and got my usual stuff that I always get after work. I usually go on the weekend because I don't like doing much after a day of work but today I am glad I went.
It was a normal shopping experience for the most part until the end was near. I finished my shopping and made my way towards the checkout counter and while there I evaluated which one would be the shortest line and the quickest. Of course I picked the wrong one and got behind this overweight African-American lady who was wearing skin tight sweatpants. At first glimpse she looked normal but after closer review I noticed that she had a huge hole in her pants on the inside of her thigh. Were not talking a small hole we are talking like the size of my hand hole, probably bigger. Completely disgusting and at that point I almost asked the lady who was now behind me in line to let me out so I could return all the food I had just picked up because I was convinced I would never be able to eat again.
During that time of glancing back at the lady behind me it was a positive distraction at the time until she started talking to her little baby like a fucking idiot. After awhile another lady had gathered and the topic was how old the kid was, well my daughter is...blah blah blah. I just shook my head in disgust at this fucking idiot talking to her kid like it was a little puppy. You all know what I am talking about. Well I overheard everything you need to know about this baby and about how he was going to get a bath tonight and she wondered what "daddy" was doing. I gathered myself and was able to move past the now idiot behind me and the lady in front of me just finally figured out her check card and how to use the damn thing so it was now my turn. Complete circus...
Finally it was my time at the checkout counter. Things started out normal and nearing the end of my checkout experience I noticed the lady with the baby crowding my shit and her cart was now in front of the place where I had to swipe my credit card. After maneuvering around her cart that she was too busy to move because she was still talking like a fucking idiot to her child who also thinks she is a moron as I am convinced it was that bad. I proceeded to move forward to leave and she jacks the back of my foot with her cart in my heel. At that point I am real pissed and I turn around doing everything in my power to not go off on this fat bitch and I give her the scowl from hell! As I was walking away I heard her whisper to her little kid..."well that guy isn't very nice!" Hahahahaha she was talking about me! Absolutely priceless!!!
Making my way to the exit and shaking my head in disbelief from what had just happened and thinking that nothing would out do this or top this maybe for the rest of the week or maybe even month it happened...I see an African-American female midget with her normal height Caucasian butch-haircut beefy girlfriend!! I shit you not!!!
Of course they were getting into their Ford F-150 pickup. At that point I thought I was dreaming and had to gather myself in my car before I was able to drive and questioned whether what I had just experienced on this grocery shopping trip had really happened or if I was the victim of candid camera.
After realizing that I had not been dreaming and it was indeed reality and no cameras were in sight, I am sure glad I made that trip to Target this Tuesday the 16th of September.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Off With His Head...
Just finished watching the Vikqueens against the Packers on Monday Night Football. Needless to say I am bitter as hell. Once again we live and die with "project quarterback" Tarvaris Jackson. Brad Childress is a horrible coach and could be fired midway this season or at least I think he should be if they start off on the wrong foot (not a good start).
The Queens could be 0-5 realistically to start the season with games against the Colts next week followed by Carolina, at Tennessee and at New Orleans. Very easily could be 0-5 and if things don't change at quarterback consider this season another waste of time, spent money and crushed hopes.
Minnesota hasn't won at Lambeau since god knows when and haven't beaten the Packers under the monotone Childress. This team seems to have no game plans to start out the game and that falls squarely on the head coach getting this team prepared. This coaching staff is not getting the players prepared each game and that is not acceptable for the fans. Coach Childress has not proved anything and I think that if they start out 1-4 or 0-5, Wilf should fire his worthless ass.
The thing that upsets me most is that they have all the players and a team that is loaded with talent. Adrian, Rice, Williams wall, EJ, Sharper, and on and on but it just doesn't matter. I am also listening to fanline right now and some guy just called in and said that he wouldn't start Tarvaris Jackson for the Apple Valley Eagles! That is great!
So it looks like things haven't changed one bit as our defense can stop the run although they gave up 150 or so yards and just cant stop the pass. Our offense can run the ball but when it comes down to it...Jackson is going to choke game in-game out. He is not a starter in this league and Childress is going to go down with his ship and project quarterback who they traded up to draft. He just doesn't have "it" as a quarterback like Matt Ryan does.
Also our defensive line did nothing tonight!!! Jared Allen who??? I think he had one tackle. Rodgers was sacked once and also burned us with his feet. I know its one game but I think Allen is overrated and we probably overpaid for old lasso.
Side Note--commentators for Monday Night Football--Cornheiser, Ron Jaworski and Tirico are terrible. Tirico is good but the others are unbearable to even listen too. Also this game on now with Mike and Mike is even worse! Brutal
Well time to drink some High Life's and go to bed pissed. Thanks Coach Childress you ruined my week.
The Queens could be 0-5 realistically to start the season with games against the Colts next week followed by Carolina, at Tennessee and at New Orleans. Very easily could be 0-5 and if things don't change at quarterback consider this season another waste of time, spent money and crushed hopes.
Minnesota hasn't won at Lambeau since god knows when and haven't beaten the Packers under the monotone Childress. This team seems to have no game plans to start out the game and that falls squarely on the head coach getting this team prepared. This coaching staff is not getting the players prepared each game and that is not acceptable for the fans. Coach Childress has not proved anything and I think that if they start out 1-4 or 0-5, Wilf should fire his worthless ass.
The thing that upsets me most is that they have all the players and a team that is loaded with talent. Adrian, Rice, Williams wall, EJ, Sharper, and on and on but it just doesn't matter. I am also listening to fanline right now and some guy just called in and said that he wouldn't start Tarvaris Jackson for the Apple Valley Eagles! That is great!
So it looks like things haven't changed one bit as our defense can stop the run although they gave up 150 or so yards and just cant stop the pass. Our offense can run the ball but when it comes down to it...Jackson is going to choke game in-game out. He is not a starter in this league and Childress is going to go down with his ship and project quarterback who they traded up to draft. He just doesn't have "it" as a quarterback like Matt Ryan does.
Also our defensive line did nothing tonight!!! Jared Allen who??? I think he had one tackle. Rodgers was sacked once and also burned us with his feet. I know its one game but I think Allen is overrated and we probably overpaid for old lasso.
Side Note--commentators for Monday Night Football--Cornheiser, Ron Jaworski and Tirico are terrible. Tirico is good but the others are unbearable to even listen too. Also this game on now with Mike and Mike is even worse! Brutal
Well time to drink some High Life's and go to bed pissed. Thanks Coach Childress you ruined my week.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
The Stop and Chat
Did I ever tell you how much I hate small talk or as Larry David puts it the "stop and chat."
Small talk was at its peak this past weekend over Waterama and I couldn't hate it more. Bumping into people and chatting about complete crap that neither one of us could really careless about. Simply pointless in my book and downright not needed.
With small talk comes uncomfortable laughter and a constant awareness of an escape from the conversation you are currently in...even if that means talking to Hammond over Waterama who is completely obliterated all weekend long. Yeah I might have to put up with some physical abuse from him due to his lack of control of his extremities over the celebratory weekend but hey...got me out of the "stop and chat." Hammond is an absolute weekend warrior over Waterama and it makes me feel old.
I am not sure about what others thought about Waterama but it is getting worse and worse each year. Maybe its the fact that I am getting old and tend to feel really old when going to the bar around home and seeing all the young kids there too. I even had to ask some colleagues if there were "a lot of underage kids at the bar last night," to which was answered, "no they are 21 now."
This just proves how old I am getting.
Also another fact that proves that we are getting too old to enjoy two consecutive nights of boozing is the fact that some of your high school friends don't make it out at all because it was their daughters birthday and by the way the wife has another one in the oven on the way!
So next time avoid the "stop and chat" and save your resume recital for someone who cares. A simple "hey" will do the trick.
p.s. do you smell that??? That thing you are smelling is football season and its back!!! Didn't think I would make it through the sports abyss...
Oh and by the way...summer is over. Tomorrow is August 1st. Deal with it.
Small talk was at its peak this past weekend over Waterama and I couldn't hate it more. Bumping into people and chatting about complete crap that neither one of us could really careless about. Simply pointless in my book and downright not needed.
With small talk comes uncomfortable laughter and a constant awareness of an escape from the conversation you are currently in...even if that means talking to Hammond over Waterama who is completely obliterated all weekend long. Yeah I might have to put up with some physical abuse from him due to his lack of control of his extremities over the celebratory weekend but hey...got me out of the "stop and chat." Hammond is an absolute weekend warrior over Waterama and it makes me feel old.
I am not sure about what others thought about Waterama but it is getting worse and worse each year. Maybe its the fact that I am getting old and tend to feel really old when going to the bar around home and seeing all the young kids there too. I even had to ask some colleagues if there were "a lot of underage kids at the bar last night," to which was answered, "no they are 21 now."
This just proves how old I am getting.
Also another fact that proves that we are getting too old to enjoy two consecutive nights of boozing is the fact that some of your high school friends don't make it out at all because it was their daughters birthday and by the way the wife has another one in the oven on the way!
So next time avoid the "stop and chat" and save your resume recital for someone who cares. A simple "hey" will do the trick.
p.s. do you smell that??? That thing you are smelling is football season and its back!!! Didn't think I would make it through the sports abyss...
Oh and by the way...summer is over. Tomorrow is August 1st. Deal with it.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Right Now: Top 5 Biggest D-bags and Deadbeats in Sports
5. Ahmad Bradshaw, running back New York Giants.
After winning the Superbowl last year with the Giants, this deadbeat completed his off season with a violation of probation stemming from being a delinquent in college by resisting arrest while drinking underage. Sounds like a regular Saturday night in Mankato but while being in the public eye its a much bigger deal. He was later kicked off his college football team at Virginia, sounds like history could be repeating itself here with Bradshaw awaiting a suspension now from the NFL.
4. Jonathon Papelbon & Francisco Rodriguez, closers for the Red Sox and Angels.
Papelbon ran his mouth like usual in complete disrespect of Hall of Fame closer Mariano Rivera. Papelbon out of complete ignorance thinks that he should get to close the All-Star game at Yankee Stadium instead of Mariano Rivera if the situation is presented. Let me repeat that there Papelbon...Hall of Famer in his own stadium which is in its last year of existence. Rivera should get the nod, Papelbon later retracted part of his statement. Imagine that.
On to K-Rod, this guy is real good but needs to take it easy on the celebrations after each save. He completely disrespects the batter with a tirade and ridiculous pointing to the sky. We know you are going for saves immortality but better watch it otherwise some of your players on your own team could be taking a pitch to their head in retaliation. That's baseball, I didn't write the rules!
3. Chris Henry, former wide receiver Cincinatti Bengals.
Another NFL player gets his trial dropped. That's a shock, too bad it was his fifth arrest since joining the team in 2005. Good ridden Chris Henry and have fun in the hood, now your arrests will give you street cred. Deadbeat!
2. Travis Henry, former running back Denver Broncos.
Must run in the Henry name. This freaking loser tested positive again for smoking weed. He now faces a year suspension from the NFL for substance abuse. Not even your own personal drug testing person could save you now. Did I mention he has fathered nine children with nine DIFFERENT women! Oh yeah and not to mention he has significant financial issues because of his excessive spending on expensive jewelry and several Mercedes Benz. You can take a blank out of the hood but you cant take the hood out of the blank. Textbook example of a complete deadbeat that cant even put down the weed smoke in order to make a living. Maaaan...you are one pathetic loser!
And now drum roll please.....
1. Brett Favre, (retired) quarterback Green Bay Packers.
This attention whore is back in the headlines again by coming out of retirement saying he wants to play again. Really Brett??! We are all shocked by your lack of making up your mind. You have put everyone through the meat grinder every year about whether or not you are going to retire. Really who gives a shit anymore? Nice interview with Greta on Fox News, oh and by the way get over yourself. Nice emotional retirement press conference with the tears and sobbing...maybe you should take up Soap Operas! I hear Stefano just died again on "Days of Our Lives."
After winning the Superbowl last year with the Giants, this deadbeat completed his off season with a violation of probation stemming from being a delinquent in college by resisting arrest while drinking underage. Sounds like a regular Saturday night in Mankato but while being in the public eye its a much bigger deal. He was later kicked off his college football team at Virginia, sounds like history could be repeating itself here with Bradshaw awaiting a suspension now from the NFL.
4. Jonathon Papelbon & Francisco Rodriguez, closers for the Red Sox and Angels.
Papelbon ran his mouth like usual in complete disrespect of Hall of Fame closer Mariano Rivera. Papelbon out of complete ignorance thinks that he should get to close the All-Star game at Yankee Stadium instead of Mariano Rivera if the situation is presented. Let me repeat that there Papelbon...Hall of Famer in his own stadium which is in its last year of existence. Rivera should get the nod, Papelbon later retracted part of his statement. Imagine that.
On to K-Rod, this guy is real good but needs to take it easy on the celebrations after each save. He completely disrespects the batter with a tirade and ridiculous pointing to the sky. We know you are going for saves immortality but better watch it otherwise some of your players on your own team could be taking a pitch to their head in retaliation. That's baseball, I didn't write the rules!
3. Chris Henry, former wide receiver Cincinatti Bengals.
Another NFL player gets his trial dropped. That's a shock, too bad it was his fifth arrest since joining the team in 2005. Good ridden Chris Henry and have fun in the hood, now your arrests will give you street cred. Deadbeat!
2. Travis Henry, former running back Denver Broncos.
Must run in the Henry name. This freaking loser tested positive again for smoking weed. He now faces a year suspension from the NFL for substance abuse. Not even your own personal drug testing person could save you now. Did I mention he has fathered nine children with nine DIFFERENT women! Oh yeah and not to mention he has significant financial issues because of his excessive spending on expensive jewelry and several Mercedes Benz. You can take a blank out of the hood but you cant take the hood out of the blank. Textbook example of a complete deadbeat that cant even put down the weed smoke in order to make a living. Maaaan...you are one pathetic loser!
And now drum roll please.....
1. Brett Favre, (retired) quarterback Green Bay Packers.
This attention whore is back in the headlines again by coming out of retirement saying he wants to play again. Really Brett??! We are all shocked by your lack of making up your mind. You have put everyone through the meat grinder every year about whether or not you are going to retire. Really who gives a shit anymore? Nice interview with Greta on Fox News, oh and by the way get over yourself. Nice emotional retirement press conference with the tears and sobbing...maybe you should take up Soap Operas! I hear Stefano just died again on "Days of Our Lives."
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Life and Times of S. Mork
Why are people who wear knee braces and wrist braces always overweight women??
Look at me I have a sore wrist or I have a sore knee....maybe they are just faking because they are lazy and want attention but it still gets me every time. Maybe if you did some activity in your life and your biggest concern wasn't "what should I eat for lunch today??" you wouldn't have to wear these ridiculous attention getter's.
People who wear these "braces" are the type of people that always have something wrong with them. Always whining about something, constantly absent from work...just always something. You know what type of people I am talking about. I saw an individual today wearing the "wrist type" brace and she fit this stereotype to a T. Get a life!
So moving on, I got a canker sore on the side of my tongue and wow it is fun. Makes eating really fun and talking too! FUCK!
Traffic wasn't bad at all today and people must have taken off early for the holiday. I couldn't believe it and how great it felt to not sit in the midst of clusterness. I cant believe what I put up with on a day-to-day basis with driving to work. Surprised I haven't made headline news yet...
How bout them Twins??? Our favorite local nine is hot! Winning 13 of their last 15 games is simply a surprise with this squad. Taming the Tigers from Detroit who were streaking and taking 2 out of 3 and winning the series is nice but should have been a sweep after our bullpen collapsed Monday night but as Meat Loaf said..."2 out of 3 ain't bad!" Bad news is that the White Sox keep winning too...
The month of July will be a telling tale for this squad. With series at Boston, at Detroit, Texas at home, at New York, at Cleveland and finally hosting the White Sox. If we can survive this meat grinder, playoffs might be a possibility.
Getting the hell out of this city this and heading to the lake for the extended 4th of July weekend. Simply cant wait! Lots of beer, pontoon, fishing and grilling is really needed at this point in my life because once I return on Monday the abyss continues with the end of the 2nd quarter which means July overtime and lots of work to do. Get fucked up!
Have a good 4th of July and don't blow your hands off.
Go Twins!
Look at me I have a sore wrist or I have a sore knee....maybe they are just faking because they are lazy and want attention but it still gets me every time. Maybe if you did some activity in your life and your biggest concern wasn't "what should I eat for lunch today??" you wouldn't have to wear these ridiculous attention getter's.
People who wear these "braces" are the type of people that always have something wrong with them. Always whining about something, constantly absent from work...just always something. You know what type of people I am talking about. I saw an individual today wearing the "wrist type" brace and she fit this stereotype to a T. Get a life!
So moving on, I got a canker sore on the side of my tongue and wow it is fun. Makes eating really fun and talking too! FUCK!
Traffic wasn't bad at all today and people must have taken off early for the holiday. I couldn't believe it and how great it felt to not sit in the midst of clusterness. I cant believe what I put up with on a day-to-day basis with driving to work. Surprised I haven't made headline news yet...
How bout them Twins??? Our favorite local nine is hot! Winning 13 of their last 15 games is simply a surprise with this squad. Taming the Tigers from Detroit who were streaking and taking 2 out of 3 and winning the series is nice but should have been a sweep after our bullpen collapsed Monday night but as Meat Loaf said..."2 out of 3 ain't bad!" Bad news is that the White Sox keep winning too...
The month of July will be a telling tale for this squad. With series at Boston, at Detroit, Texas at home, at New York, at Cleveland and finally hosting the White Sox. If we can survive this meat grinder, playoffs might be a possibility.
Getting the hell out of this city this and heading to the lake for the extended 4th of July weekend. Simply cant wait! Lots of beer, pontoon, fishing and grilling is really needed at this point in my life because once I return on Monday the abyss continues with the end of the 2nd quarter which means July overtime and lots of work to do. Get fucked up!
Have a good 4th of July and don't blow your hands off.
Go Twins!
Friday, June 6, 2008
Why does the water in the toilet move around when its windy outside?
So just got back from the bathroom at work and noticed something that I have wondered my entire life...
Why does the water in the toilet bowl move around when its windy outside???
Today might possibly be the windiest day I have experienced in my 26 years of life. It is absolutely brutal and I would rather have it rain and thunderstorm any day of the week. Wind ruins everything. Sure as hell cant golf, cant be outside period. You cant hear anything either and good luck carrying on a conversation. You might as well be a mute in these conditions. Unless you specialize in lip reading.
So why does the water move around in that ivory bowl? Its not subject to open drafts of wind?? I am in a secure building and not in a fish house?? I just don't understand it...last time I checked wind doesn't penetrate steel piping.
The only thing I can think of is that the wind is blowing up through the end or opening of the pipe when Mr. Hanky gets dropped off at the square pond. Although my next question would be how does it affect every toilet??? Must be some wind...maybe my hypothesis is inaccurate or better yet dead wrong but if anyone knows the true reasoning behind this, be sure to let me know. Might be a question only Ryan Robards could answer...
Next time you sit down on the pot and its the Bering Sea below you...you will understand where I am coming from.
On a side note what is the deal with these new movies coming out. Edward Norton as the Incredible Hulk? Will Smith as some superhero called Hancock??? I don't know if any of you have seen the previews for this Hancock movie but you are missing out. At one point it shows Will Smith pick up a huge whale off of the beach, swing it above his head like he was in a rodeo and throw it several "hundreds" of feet out into the ocean and hit a boat. It looked pretty realistic...
Now those are two movies that I would opt for the trigger to be pulled if a gun was to my head.
Why does the water in the toilet bowl move around when its windy outside???
Today might possibly be the windiest day I have experienced in my 26 years of life. It is absolutely brutal and I would rather have it rain and thunderstorm any day of the week. Wind ruins everything. Sure as hell cant golf, cant be outside period. You cant hear anything either and good luck carrying on a conversation. You might as well be a mute in these conditions. Unless you specialize in lip reading.
So why does the water move around in that ivory bowl? Its not subject to open drafts of wind?? I am in a secure building and not in a fish house?? I just don't understand it...last time I checked wind doesn't penetrate steel piping.
The only thing I can think of is that the wind is blowing up through the end or opening of the pipe when Mr. Hanky gets dropped off at the square pond. Although my next question would be how does it affect every toilet??? Must be some wind...maybe my hypothesis is inaccurate or better yet dead wrong but if anyone knows the true reasoning behind this, be sure to let me know. Might be a question only Ryan Robards could answer...
Next time you sit down on the pot and its the Bering Sea below you...you will understand where I am coming from.
On a side note what is the deal with these new movies coming out. Edward Norton as the Incredible Hulk? Will Smith as some superhero called Hancock??? I don't know if any of you have seen the previews for this Hancock movie but you are missing out. At one point it shows Will Smith pick up a huge whale off of the beach, swing it above his head like he was in a rodeo and throw it several "hundreds" of feet out into the ocean and hit a boat. It looked pretty realistic...
Now those are two movies that I would opt for the trigger to be pulled if a gun was to my head.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Journey Westward...
So a lot has happened since my last post. Went to Denver, got sick again and my dog Pooh had to be euthanized...
Tappin' the Rockies
So a week ago this time I was recuperating from my journey westward. I went to Denver with my buddy Choad to visit our high school classmate and long time friend Phil Fossen. Phil got a job at an architecture firm in Denver and moved out west a few months ago. We left on Thursday the 15th during the afternoon. Turned out to be an interesting flight as Twins TV broadcaster and future hall of famer Bert Blyleven was on our plane. He actually sat 2 rows behind me which I thought was weird that he would mix in among the peasants. We also managed to ring up a $60 tab before even leaving MSP!!!
We arrived Thursday evening and our buddy Dan picked us up and greeted us with a Newcastle on the car ride back into Denver which is about 30 minutes or so...from that point on we kept drinking. Thursday night we got bombed at a local punk bar and made a late night Burger King run. Late night Burger King=bad idea.
Sure the burger was tasty and was needed with a full belly of beer and liquor but the next morning would provide for...well let me put it this way. 3 guys full of beer and BK in a one bedroom apartment. Surprised the neighbors didn't call authorities from the smells that came from that apartment over the course of the weekend. B-r-u-t-a-l...brutal. Lets just say we went through a lot of toilet paper.
Friday night we went to the Twins/Rockies game at Coors Field. It was a good game and the Twins actually won. We then went out downtown Denver after the game to a few bars flooded with Twins and Rocky fans and Denver locals. The weather was perfect so it made it easy to walk (stumble) around from bar to bar.
We also made the trek out to Red Rock and took in the venue. Pretty sweet place and would be awesome to see a show there.
Saturday we went to a show Tapes and Tapes at the Bluebird and just got shitbombed. It was a complete shitshow. Red Bull vodkas and Pabst Blue Ribbon's were flowing like wine. The night ended with a "Ring of Death" match and me puking on the sidelines.
Sunday to say the least was horrible and hangovers and 90 degree weather do not match very well. We went to the Twins game again and watched them get embarrassed. Of course some fat head douche sat in front of me for the first part of the game so I couldn't see. Icing on the cake for a sweltering hangover filled extravaganza but I was able to salvage some of my mood with a foot long brat, soda, dip 'n dots, nachos and some Kracker Jacks. One thing I love to do when I am at a baseball game and/or hungover is EAT so it worked out perfectly.
Sunday night we finally realized we weren't Supermen so we had to take it easy. We chilled and ordered about $90 of Chinese food and watched Curb Your Enthusiasm. I mean we did have to get up at 4:20 for our flight which was at 6:30. Once again Brutal! You know how when you are looking to go somewhere and are searching for flights and you see a flight that is cheaper but the hours suck? Yeah well we do...I will never do that again and would gladly pay the extra $70 or whatever and fly during normal hours because it ruins your day and or several days to follow.
Anyway so we made it back safe, exhausted, hungover and defeated as the Rocky Mountains kicked our old ass.
I ended up getting sick a few days after we got back and even puked for the first time (not drinking induced) since I can remember. Still not sure if it was just my body going through withdrawals after the bender but it still sucked ass...
On a darker note, I received word this past week that my dog Pooh had to be put to sleep with an enlarged heart which was was filled with fluid, etc. Tough thing losing a dog. Its amazing how attached you can get to an animal. Its a vicious cycle with dogs and makes it tough to own them but they bring so much to a persons life. I am sure Pooh is chillin on the beach in his after life reflecting on what a great life he had on the lake outside Lowry. Pooh, you will be missed.
I haven't posted in some time and am lacking passion lately...
By the way...the "new" American Gladiators still sucks!!!!
Tappin' the Rockies
So a week ago this time I was recuperating from my journey westward. I went to Denver with my buddy Choad to visit our high school classmate and long time friend Phil Fossen. Phil got a job at an architecture firm in Denver and moved out west a few months ago. We left on Thursday the 15th during the afternoon. Turned out to be an interesting flight as Twins TV broadcaster and future hall of famer Bert Blyleven was on our plane. He actually sat 2 rows behind me which I thought was weird that he would mix in among the peasants. We also managed to ring up a $60 tab before even leaving MSP!!!
We arrived Thursday evening and our buddy Dan picked us up and greeted us with a Newcastle on the car ride back into Denver which is about 30 minutes or so...from that point on we kept drinking. Thursday night we got bombed at a local punk bar and made a late night Burger King run. Late night Burger King=bad idea.
Sure the burger was tasty and was needed with a full belly of beer and liquor but the next morning would provide for...well let me put it this way. 3 guys full of beer and BK in a one bedroom apartment. Surprised the neighbors didn't call authorities from the smells that came from that apartment over the course of the weekend. B-r-u-t-a-l...brutal. Lets just say we went through a lot of toilet paper.
Friday night we went to the Twins/Rockies game at Coors Field. It was a good game and the Twins actually won. We then went out downtown Denver after the game to a few bars flooded with Twins and Rocky fans and Denver locals. The weather was perfect so it made it easy to walk (stumble) around from bar to bar.
We also made the trek out to Red Rock and took in the venue. Pretty sweet place and would be awesome to see a show there.
Saturday we went to a show Tapes and Tapes at the Bluebird and just got shitbombed. It was a complete shitshow. Red Bull vodkas and Pabst Blue Ribbon's were flowing like wine. The night ended with a "Ring of Death" match and me puking on the sidelines.
Sunday to say the least was horrible and hangovers and 90 degree weather do not match very well. We went to the Twins game again and watched them get embarrassed. Of course some fat head douche sat in front of me for the first part of the game so I couldn't see. Icing on the cake for a sweltering hangover filled extravaganza but I was able to salvage some of my mood with a foot long brat, soda, dip 'n dots, nachos and some Kracker Jacks. One thing I love to do when I am at a baseball game and/or hungover is EAT so it worked out perfectly.
Sunday night we finally realized we weren't Supermen so we had to take it easy. We chilled and ordered about $90 of Chinese food and watched Curb Your Enthusiasm. I mean we did have to get up at 4:20 for our flight which was at 6:30. Once again Brutal! You know how when you are looking to go somewhere and are searching for flights and you see a flight that is cheaper but the hours suck? Yeah well we do...I will never do that again and would gladly pay the extra $70 or whatever and fly during normal hours because it ruins your day and or several days to follow.
Anyway so we made it back safe, exhausted, hungover and defeated as the Rocky Mountains kicked our old ass.
I ended up getting sick a few days after we got back and even puked for the first time (not drinking induced) since I can remember. Still not sure if it was just my body going through withdrawals after the bender but it still sucked ass...
On a darker note, I received word this past week that my dog Pooh had to be put to sleep with an enlarged heart which was was filled with fluid, etc. Tough thing losing a dog. Its amazing how attached you can get to an animal. Its a vicious cycle with dogs and makes it tough to own them but they bring so much to a persons life. I am sure Pooh is chillin on the beach in his after life reflecting on what a great life he had on the lake outside Lowry. Pooh, you will be missed.
I haven't posted in some time and am lacking passion lately...
By the way...the "new" American Gladiators still sucks!!!!
Monday, May 12, 2008
I Love Me Some Booby..
I love the Cleveland Cavaliers.
I have been flipping back and forth between the Twins winning 3 out of 4 against the defending champion Boston Red Sox and the Cleveland Cavs and Boston Celtics and never thought I could pull for some team as much as I have for the Cavs against the Celtics.
I absolutely love Lebron James and his game. He has struggled immensely in this series but the Cavs were focused to even this series at 2-2. I had to write this blog after Lebron dunked over Kevin Garnett and made him look like a little school girl. Kevin Garnett was totally dominated by Anderson Varajeo (aka side show bob) and I love every second of it! No points in the 4th quarter...doesn't that sound familiar...
Daniel "Booby" Gibson was huge also and his playoff perimeter shooting is outstanding and continued to be just that tonight. He is money from three and stuck a dagger with a huge three pointer to help the Cavs even the series at 2. The Cavs are an easy team to like with cool players that play hard and a coach that flies under the radar.
I cannot believe how well the young Lebron handles himself in adversity. He is just a class act all around and is definitely my favorite player and is actually a role model for young kids. He is not getting in trouble off the court and brings his A-game every night...even if he isn't shooting well. (Don't do anything stupid now Lebron that I praised your glory)
The Celtics have yet to win on the road and I couldn't be more happy. I have just decided tonight that I actually hate Kevin Garnett. His antics and chippiness and jersey popping have to stop. He played like the Garnett of old after starting out hot to only diminish in the 4th quarter and was no where to be found. He is overrated and always has been. He single handily ruined the Timberwolves franchise by being a greedy you-know-what. I love seeing him fail!
I hope the Boston "Three" Party (if you want to call it that) sinks in the Boston Haaabor.
Well Sir Charles Barkley is on Inside the NBA right now and he is hilarious so I have to watch. By the way why is Magic Johnson on the show with him...he is awful.
I have been flipping back and forth between the Twins winning 3 out of 4 against the defending champion Boston Red Sox and the Cleveland Cavs and Boston Celtics and never thought I could pull for some team as much as I have for the Cavs against the Celtics.
I absolutely love Lebron James and his game. He has struggled immensely in this series but the Cavs were focused to even this series at 2-2. I had to write this blog after Lebron dunked over Kevin Garnett and made him look like a little school girl. Kevin Garnett was totally dominated by Anderson Varajeo (aka side show bob) and I love every second of it! No points in the 4th quarter...doesn't that sound familiar...
Daniel "Booby" Gibson was huge also and his playoff perimeter shooting is outstanding and continued to be just that tonight. He is money from three and stuck a dagger with a huge three pointer to help the Cavs even the series at 2. The Cavs are an easy team to like with cool players that play hard and a coach that flies under the radar.
I cannot believe how well the young Lebron handles himself in adversity. He is just a class act all around and is definitely my favorite player and is actually a role model for young kids. He is not getting in trouble off the court and brings his A-game every night...even if he isn't shooting well. (Don't do anything stupid now Lebron that I praised your glory)
The Celtics have yet to win on the road and I couldn't be more happy. I have just decided tonight that I actually hate Kevin Garnett. His antics and chippiness and jersey popping have to stop. He played like the Garnett of old after starting out hot to only diminish in the 4th quarter and was no where to be found. He is overrated and always has been. He single handily ruined the Timberwolves franchise by being a greedy you-know-what. I love seeing him fail!
I hope the Boston "Three" Party (if you want to call it that) sinks in the Boston Haaabor.
Well Sir Charles Barkley is on Inside the NBA right now and he is hilarious so I have to watch. By the way why is Magic Johnson on the show with him...he is awful.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Minnesota Summers=Road Construction
This past week my drive to work has gotten even more enjoyable thanks to MnDot and there wonderful maintenence of our sucky Minnesota highways.
It all started with the American Blvd bridge in Bloomington which is a highly traveled road to my place of work and you dont really realize the impact it has until it is gone and/or is not an option. Dont get me wrong I think that bridge safety is important especially after what happened on the 35W bridge but come on. When is enough, enough. This bridge is pretty much brand new and now they are tearing it up to avoid conflict. I see the rationale but where do you draw the line.
Road construction usually means detours which also mean cluster fucks. Now that American Blvd is closed there is a nice little detour to 82nd St from Lyndale which is only two lanes both ways. American blvd is three lanes one way. You do the math here and tell me how much fun I am having. I sit through the one stop light on average twice daily before actually being able to pass through and begin merging over to get into my office parking lot. Yesterday some little fucker driving an old Saturn flicked me off. Well as many of you know who I am this didnt sit well with me at 8:30am. I had visions of running this kid down and pummeling him into the pavement until he begged for mercy but instead I just gave him the finger back and continued to point at him and shout vulgarities. Some might call this road rage...I call it a normal day. I dont really understand why this just burns me so bad that I just want to get midevil on someones ass but it does. I am sure some of you feel the same way...I hope. Otherwise I could have a problem.
Well now that I have a few of you shaking your head let me proceed. That was just my way into work. Now the way home...
5 p.m. hits and it is the cluster fuck of all cluster fucks and I kid you not. It is almost comical on the right day but most it just pisses me right off. The cars are lined up for blocks and you can usually expect to wait a solid amount of time just to exit our parking lot. The other day it took me 15 g-damn minutes to get from our parking lot to 35W. For a mental picture this is about a solid pitching wedge away yet it took me 15 minutes. I could have ran back and forth 10 times before I could reach 35W once in my car. Absolutely ridiculous.
494 has been equally retarded because 35W North is closed and is backed up even more than usual. On Monday it was backed up over the river bridge (which is beyond the airport)and I had never seen that before. After I regained my bearings after almost rear ending the car in front of me due to the immediate stop that was a chain reaction I had plenty of time to calm my shaky hands after the near death experience as I sat in traffic bumper to bumper style.
I can only hope it gets better but I am sure it will get worse. Once they finish what they are working on now, it will be something else. Its always something else, you know it, I know it and they know it.
In Minnesota you have two types of driving...winter roads and road construction. Hope the rest of you are having as much fun as I am and if you read about me in the paper or see me on the news regarding a road rage incident in the future, I apologize to my family and friends for the embarrasment in advance.
Road construction usually means detours which also mean cluster fucks. Now that American Blvd is closed there is a nice little detour to 82nd St from Lyndale which is only two lanes both ways. American blvd is three lanes one way. You do the math here and tell me how much fun I am having. I sit through the one stop light on average twice daily before actually being able to pass through and begin merging over to get into my office parking lot. Yesterday some little fucker driving an old Saturn flicked me off. Well as many of you know who I am this didnt sit well with me at 8:30am. I had visions of running this kid down and pummeling him into the pavement until he begged for mercy but instead I just gave him the finger back and continued to point at him and shout vulgarities. Some might call this road rage...I call it a normal day. I dont really understand why this just burns me so bad that I just want to get midevil on someones ass but it does. I am sure some of you feel the same way...I hope. Otherwise I could have a problem.
Well now that I have a few of you shaking your head let me proceed. That was just my way into work. Now the way home...
5 p.m. hits and it is the cluster fuck of all cluster fucks and I kid you not. It is almost comical on the right day but most it just pisses me right off. The cars are lined up for blocks and you can usually expect to wait a solid amount of time just to exit our parking lot. The other day it took me 15 g-damn minutes to get from our parking lot to 35W. For a mental picture this is about a solid pitching wedge away yet it took me 15 minutes. I could have ran back and forth 10 times before I could reach 35W once in my car. Absolutely ridiculous.
494 has been equally retarded because 35W North is closed and is backed up even more than usual. On Monday it was backed up over the river bridge (which is beyond the airport)and I had never seen that before. After I regained my bearings after almost rear ending the car in front of me due to the immediate stop that was a chain reaction I had plenty of time to calm my shaky hands after the near death experience as I sat in traffic bumper to bumper style.
I can only hope it gets better but I am sure it will get worse. Once they finish what they are working on now, it will be something else. Its always something else, you know it, I know it and they know it.
In Minnesota you have two types of driving...winter roads and road construction. Hope the rest of you are having as much fun as I am and if you read about me in the paper or see me on the news regarding a road rage incident in the future, I apologize to my family and friends for the embarrasment in advance.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Random thoughts and observations...
So think about a kind of car, any car, and look for that kind of car when you are driving...why might you ask? Well I will tell you why right now...
So my boss just got a Dodge Caliber and every since I have been seeing them all over the damn place. Its not that there are more on the road since you just thought about what kind of car you were going to look for...its all about awareness and recognition. This is the same way with any kind of car...last week it was the Acura TL. Sure enough they were everywhere. It kind of amazes me how unaware people are of their surroundings. Not that everybody just goes out and looks for different kinds of cars but this has been a bizarre phenomenon that everyone can experience. Just have to put that kind of car in the front of your mind and it sticks with your subconscious. So I encourage you to pick out a car and see how many of those damn things you end up seeing...my guess it will be a lot.
You will then think to yourself...wow that Seth Mork is right.
So moving on...did I ever tell any of you how much I hate Cheryl Miller??? For those of you who don't know who she is...she is Reggie Miller's (NBA basketball hall of famer who played for the Pacers) sister. Or how I like to think of it...Reggie with a vagina and some dreads. She is doing the "on court" reporting for tonight's Celtics/Hawks game. Once again someone should be fired. She has a high pitched voice and stumbles more than a Mankato college student walking up Warren hill on her sentences and I just feel like she needs to be kicked in the ass to get her words out. I know I probably couldn't do much better, but I am not trying to be a fucking reporter. Whoever thought it would be a good idea to get Reggie with a vagina to do sideline reporting for a men's NBA basketball PLAYOFF game should be psychologically evaluated and then promptly fired. I am now settling for the lesser of two evils watching the White Sox/Yankees with Joe Morgan doing the broadcast which isn't much better.
I mean what the hell did Cheryl Miller do to deserve a great job like that besides fall out of the same vagina as NBA legend Reggie Miller. I would be interested to hear your opinions...
So my next topic is about Kevin Garnett and how much I hate him now that he has left the Timberwolves. He is a cocky ass and is always talking shit to every player that he faces. I usually don't have any displeasure towards Minnesota stars that leave the state because our sucky owners wont pay them the money but with Garnett it is different. I would love to see the Hawks upset them in the first round but I don't think that is going to happen. If the Celtics do make it to the finals...they will not beat a superior Western Conference team, mark my word.
Speaking of Minnesota owners...how bout Mr. Zygmund Wilf and the Vikings breaking the mold in Minnesota professional sports and going out and paying big money for a player because they want to win NOW. I am almost giddy at this and wished the NFL season started this Sunday, but I guess I will settle for the NFL draft on Saturday. The signing of Jared Allen is quite surprising and if he can lay off the sauce and live up to the hype the Vikes defense could be best in the NFL. Bar None.
I know people are saying yeah yeah..but what about Tarvaris Jackson?? Yeah what about him? We have the rookie of the year at running back, offensive line that looked strong at the end of the year last season, a deep threat with Bernard Berrian and Sidney Rice and a defense that will be great. The signing of Allen will also give some relief to our secondary that was exposed last season due to the fact that we could not rush the quarterback.
With mediocre quarterback play from Jackson and the rest of the team doing what they do...we could be talking SUPERBOWL HOMEBOY!
The Ravens did it with Trent Dilfer so anything could happen. Start making your wagers in Vegas today!
So I went and picked up Atmosphere's new album yesterday and its pretty damn good. A bit different from prior albums but I like it and encourage everyone to go pick it up. The name of the album is "When Life Gives You Lemons, You Paint That Shit Gold."
So my boss just got a Dodge Caliber and every since I have been seeing them all over the damn place. Its not that there are more on the road since you just thought about what kind of car you were going to look for...its all about awareness and recognition. This is the same way with any kind of car...last week it was the Acura TL. Sure enough they were everywhere. It kind of amazes me how unaware people are of their surroundings. Not that everybody just goes out and looks for different kinds of cars but this has been a bizarre phenomenon that everyone can experience. Just have to put that kind of car in the front of your mind and it sticks with your subconscious. So I encourage you to pick out a car and see how many of those damn things you end up seeing...my guess it will be a lot.
You will then think to yourself...wow that Seth Mork is right.
So moving on...did I ever tell any of you how much I hate Cheryl Miller??? For those of you who don't know who she is...she is Reggie Miller's (NBA basketball hall of famer who played for the Pacers) sister. Or how I like to think of it...Reggie with a vagina and some dreads. She is doing the "on court" reporting for tonight's Celtics/Hawks game. Once again someone should be fired. She has a high pitched voice and stumbles more than a Mankato college student walking up Warren hill on her sentences and I just feel like she needs to be kicked in the ass to get her words out. I know I probably couldn't do much better, but I am not trying to be a fucking reporter. Whoever thought it would be a good idea to get Reggie with a vagina to do sideline reporting for a men's NBA basketball PLAYOFF game should be psychologically evaluated and then promptly fired. I am now settling for the lesser of two evils watching the White Sox/Yankees with Joe Morgan doing the broadcast which isn't much better.
I mean what the hell did Cheryl Miller do to deserve a great job like that besides fall out of the same vagina as NBA legend Reggie Miller. I would be interested to hear your opinions...
So my next topic is about Kevin Garnett and how much I hate him now that he has left the Timberwolves. He is a cocky ass and is always talking shit to every player that he faces. I usually don't have any displeasure towards Minnesota stars that leave the state because our sucky owners wont pay them the money but with Garnett it is different. I would love to see the Hawks upset them in the first round but I don't think that is going to happen. If the Celtics do make it to the finals...they will not beat a superior Western Conference team, mark my word.
Speaking of Minnesota owners...how bout Mr. Zygmund Wilf and the Vikings breaking the mold in Minnesota professional sports and going out and paying big money for a player because they want to win NOW. I am almost giddy at this and wished the NFL season started this Sunday, but I guess I will settle for the NFL draft on Saturday. The signing of Jared Allen is quite surprising and if he can lay off the sauce and live up to the hype the Vikes defense could be best in the NFL. Bar None.
I know people are saying yeah yeah..but what about Tarvaris Jackson?? Yeah what about him? We have the rookie of the year at running back, offensive line that looked strong at the end of the year last season, a deep threat with Bernard Berrian and Sidney Rice and a defense that will be great. The signing of Allen will also give some relief to our secondary that was exposed last season due to the fact that we could not rush the quarterback.
With mediocre quarterback play from Jackson and the rest of the team doing what they do...we could be talking SUPERBOWL HOMEBOY!
The Ravens did it with Trent Dilfer so anything could happen. Start making your wagers in Vegas today!
So I went and picked up Atmosphere's new album yesterday and its pretty damn good. A bit different from prior albums but I like it and encourage everyone to go pick it up. The name of the album is "When Life Gives You Lemons, You Paint That Shit Gold."
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Jimmy Johns, Jimmy Johns
So I just finished another sandwich from Jimmy Johns and it was phenomenal. I have yet to be disappointed after eating at that place. Whether you are looking for a quick snack or a meal, good ole Jimmy Johns is where its at.
Today I opted for the #16 (Turkey, bacon) and I am almost tempted to go back and order another sandwich. I have been known to frequent Jimmy Johns more than once a day in the past but who is counting. I usually opt for the #2 (Big John-roast beef) and every single time that I get that sandwich and after I am finished I always think..."that is so damn good."
You really cant go wrong with what you order there, #1, 2, 5, 12, 16. They are all good and you will always leave satisfied. I am really thinking about trying the tuna..looks interesting and I feel I should branch out a bit.
The Jimmy chips are awesome too. I really like the kettle style chips and usually go with the salt & vinegar. My mouth is watering thinking about them right now and I just finished a bag. I felt the same way about Chipotle last year but that love has faded and I have moved on. I used to walk in there and instantly my mouth watered. I still frequent Chipotle but not as much as I used to due to my current infatuation with Jimmy Johns.
Some days I don't feel like driving or leaving my apartment or workplace and its all good because they deliver and the commercials are right...they are real fast. Before you know it, they are knocking on your door or you are getting called to the front desk at work to retrieve your sandwich...again. Almost gets embarrassing sometimes...its like, yeah its me ordering again, but I don't care because we have a special relationship.
So if you end up going to an actual Jimmy Johns location they are even faster. You are ordering your sub before you even reach for your wallet and they usually have it done before I can get my drink filled. Sometimes I wish they weren't quite as fast because I almost get intimidated, especially if I am real hungover or something and my brain isn't functioning properly.
I really wish I would have invented this company or something similar because I would be rich. Obviously I couldn't have invented "Jimmy Johns" because my first and middle name is not James John but you get the point. Sethy Andrew's is not going to cut it...
I think I might just settle on buying some stock in the company so in a sense I am paying myself back and getting a delicious treat in return.
As you can see I have it all figured out and I will keep you updated on the progress of my restaurant chain entrepreneuring.
Until then go out and support your local Jimmy John's.
Today I opted for the #16 (Turkey, bacon) and I am almost tempted to go back and order another sandwich. I have been known to frequent Jimmy Johns more than once a day in the past but who is counting. I usually opt for the #2 (Big John-roast beef) and every single time that I get that sandwich and after I am finished I always think..."that is so damn good."
You really cant go wrong with what you order there, #1, 2, 5, 12, 16. They are all good and you will always leave satisfied. I am really thinking about trying the tuna..looks interesting and I feel I should branch out a bit.
The Jimmy chips are awesome too. I really like the kettle style chips and usually go with the salt & vinegar. My mouth is watering thinking about them right now and I just finished a bag. I felt the same way about Chipotle last year but that love has faded and I have moved on. I used to walk in there and instantly my mouth watered. I still frequent Chipotle but not as much as I used to due to my current infatuation with Jimmy Johns.
Some days I don't feel like driving or leaving my apartment or workplace and its all good because they deliver and the commercials are right...they are real fast. Before you know it, they are knocking on your door or you are getting called to the front desk at work to retrieve your sandwich...again. Almost gets embarrassing sometimes...its like, yeah its me ordering again, but I don't care because we have a special relationship.
So if you end up going to an actual Jimmy Johns location they are even faster. You are ordering your sub before you even reach for your wallet and they usually have it done before I can get my drink filled. Sometimes I wish they weren't quite as fast because I almost get intimidated, especially if I am real hungover or something and my brain isn't functioning properly.
I really wish I would have invented this company or something similar because I would be rich. Obviously I couldn't have invented "Jimmy Johns" because my first and middle name is not James John but you get the point. Sethy Andrew's is not going to cut it...
I think I might just settle on buying some stock in the company so in a sense I am paying myself back and getting a delicious treat in return.
As you can see I have it all figured out and I will keep you updated on the progress of my restaurant chain entrepreneuring.
Until then go out and support your local Jimmy John's.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Fast Times at Minnewaska High...
So I have been on my damn couch now for close to 4 days due to this wonderful illness I cant seem to kick. I had the same shit a couple weeks ago and thought it was gone but it has come back with a vengeance and it is ridiculous...
It is filled with a wonderful array of headache, body aches, sore ass throat, fever which includes extreme chills and extreme sweating. I think I have sweated more in the past few days and nights than I have in my entire life. So during this time it has given me a lot of time to think and a lot of TV to watch, luckily there was basketball on and no not the dreadful NCAA Tournament filled with lopsided wins and the Big Ten getting butt raped.
I am talking about the Minnesota State High School basketball tournament. I have got my fill from teams called Minnesota Transitional High School (yeah there is such a thing) to our wonderful rival the New London-Spicer Wildcats. It has actually been very entertaining to watch and I cant believe how damn big some of the kids are from the surrounding areas. Why are all of these kids so freaking huge now? Why wasn't it like this when I was playing? Why couldn't I be 6'8'' and be able to jump out of the gym? Unreal.
This time has brought me back to the playing days when looking back now I wish I would have practiced harder and lifted more so I could been a better player. I remember we would always laugh at Phil Johnsrud when he would say "try your hardest now because in a few years when you are looking back on everything you are going to wish you would have done more." Well you know what Phil, I hate to say it but you are right...
New London-Spicer just won the state title a few moments ago and all I can think about when I hear "New London-Spicer" is Carrie Wessling and how hot their girls were. I would always look forward to going to New London or having their fans come to town because then we could scope out the chicks and maybe get a chance to talk to Carrie or Angie Mattke and it would be pretty sweet. Track meets were also a good chance to interact with the girls from the surrounding areas. I remember at a meet in New London the first time I talked to Angie Mattke and yeah it was high school and awkward but I guarantee I ran faster that day and looked a lot cooler while wearing my blue 1st place medal. These conversations turned into a few inter-town dates and no doubt it was a good time. I wonder what these girls are up to now? Probably pregnant, engaged or married with kids like everyone else...
Anyway so I also remember the state tournament when one of the Minnewaska teams would make it down to the "Cities" to play in what was then a foreign land to what I now call home. The whole town would show up and the support was tremendous. I remember when we made it to state in football and our bus got a police escort out of town after a huge pep rally filled with fans and Glenwood was almost like a parade just for us. That was so damn cool I get goose bumps thinking about it. Playing in the dome was awesome too and it was unfortunate that we could not come away with the victory after a last second play buried us in defeat. It was also amazing the team we played De La Salle had a handful of D-1 players that went on to play college football and I think a two of them are playing or have gotten opportunities to play in the NFL. Us Minnewaska boys, no D-1 athletes with the exception of one for baseball. Pretty good for a bunch of white boys eh???
The hotel stays were also great. Often filled with booze and girls. Pools and good breakfast. It was always great to escape to a strip club or something and made the experience even that much better. Us that were 18 at the time anyway...the stories that were told weeks after and even to this day make it feel as if though we were some kind of rock star for one weekend. Who got to sleep in which bed with who and maybe get a little action made it that more enjoyable.
Now I am 26 and sitting on my couch and I get a little bummed looking back that those days are gone and now I have to go to work everyday (when I am not sick in this wonderful state) and pay bills and shit. Life is more stressful in every sense of the word.
Well I think I am going to dust off the old football tapes and reminisce a bit of our game at the dome and watch my 50-yard touchdown catch to relive those times...so until later, keep grinding and "Hail to the Victors" of Minnewaska High!
It is filled with a wonderful array of headache, body aches, sore ass throat, fever which includes extreme chills and extreme sweating. I think I have sweated more in the past few days and nights than I have in my entire life. So during this time it has given me a lot of time to think and a lot of TV to watch, luckily there was basketball on and no not the dreadful NCAA Tournament filled with lopsided wins and the Big Ten getting butt raped.
I am talking about the Minnesota State High School basketball tournament. I have got my fill from teams called Minnesota Transitional High School (yeah there is such a thing) to our wonderful rival the New London-Spicer Wildcats. It has actually been very entertaining to watch and I cant believe how damn big some of the kids are from the surrounding areas. Why are all of these kids so freaking huge now? Why wasn't it like this when I was playing? Why couldn't I be 6'8'' and be able to jump out of the gym? Unreal.
This time has brought me back to the playing days when looking back now I wish I would have practiced harder and lifted more so I could been a better player. I remember we would always laugh at Phil Johnsrud when he would say "try your hardest now because in a few years when you are looking back on everything you are going to wish you would have done more." Well you know what Phil, I hate to say it but you are right...
New London-Spicer just won the state title a few moments ago and all I can think about when I hear "New London-Spicer" is Carrie Wessling and how hot their girls were. I would always look forward to going to New London or having their fans come to town because then we could scope out the chicks and maybe get a chance to talk to Carrie or Angie Mattke and it would be pretty sweet. Track meets were also a good chance to interact with the girls from the surrounding areas. I remember at a meet in New London the first time I talked to Angie Mattke and yeah it was high school and awkward but I guarantee I ran faster that day and looked a lot cooler while wearing my blue 1st place medal. These conversations turned into a few inter-town dates and no doubt it was a good time. I wonder what these girls are up to now? Probably pregnant, engaged or married with kids like everyone else...
Anyway so I also remember the state tournament when one of the Minnewaska teams would make it down to the "Cities" to play in what was then a foreign land to what I now call home. The whole town would show up and the support was tremendous. I remember when we made it to state in football and our bus got a police escort out of town after a huge pep rally filled with fans and Glenwood was almost like a parade just for us. That was so damn cool I get goose bumps thinking about it. Playing in the dome was awesome too and it was unfortunate that we could not come away with the victory after a last second play buried us in defeat. It was also amazing the team we played De La Salle had a handful of D-1 players that went on to play college football and I think a two of them are playing or have gotten opportunities to play in the NFL. Us Minnewaska boys, no D-1 athletes with the exception of one for baseball. Pretty good for a bunch of white boys eh???
The hotel stays were also great. Often filled with booze and girls. Pools and good breakfast. It was always great to escape to a strip club or something and made the experience even that much better. Us that were 18 at the time anyway...the stories that were told weeks after and even to this day make it feel as if though we were some kind of rock star for one weekend. Who got to sleep in which bed with who and maybe get a little action made it that more enjoyable.
Now I am 26 and sitting on my couch and I get a little bummed looking back that those days are gone and now I have to go to work everyday (when I am not sick in this wonderful state) and pay bills and shit. Life is more stressful in every sense of the word.
Well I think I am going to dust off the old football tapes and reminisce a bit of our game at the dome and watch my 50-yard touchdown catch to relive those times...so until later, keep grinding and "Hail to the Victors" of Minnewaska High!
Monday, March 24, 2008
Can't Live With 'em...Can't Live Without 'em...
So I was thinking the other day about how different the minds of men and women are and it inspired me to use it as a topic of one of my blogs....so here goes.
Men and women are on two different levels when it comes to their everyday mind. I find it amazing how women are so "up and down" and "up and down" when it comes to their minds and everyday thinking. It truly is a "roller coaster" ride when dealing with the female species and sometimes I think that men will never succeed in completely understanding what a woman really wants. It usually ends in a lose-lose situation and you are either stuck out in the cold or on the couch.
One minute a woman will have emotions running wild and they will be completely happy in their day and the next second they will break down crying for no reason at all. Nothing that we do really triggers this change it just happens. I cant explain it and you cant explain it, it just happens.
Women seem to be riding the "Wild Thing" roller coaster through life with extreme highs, fast dips and low-lows while men are more of the "Amtrak train" sort of ride that is consistent on a steady pace with no real extreme lows and no real extreme highs with the exception of some peaks and valleys along the way.
You can usually feel the storm coming when talking on a consistent basis and although we try to be prepared for this storm we always seem to be missing something vital that we should have picked up along the way. (Your flares or rain gear...you get the analogy)
Women are almost "bipolar" in some senses of the word although they are not actually diagnosed by a physician (all of them anyway). They tend to say one thing and do the next and act like it didn't really happen or it is no big deal. The majority of the time it is no big deal but sometimes it can be and can affect certain situations. Even my own mom and sister are guilty of these things but to them it is no big deal. Its like "oh yeah I didn't tell you that,"no actually that must have been left out of the conversation but it would have been nice to know.
Men seem to walk on eggshells in relationships hoping to not make their wife or girlfriend mad because then "it will hit the fan" and they will pay in the future because we all know that women never let anything go. You could have done or said something years ago but when something comes up it is "remember that one time when this happened." Actually I do remember and am trying to move beyond that but somehow it always gets brought back up.
We need to work together and move on together if you are ever going to "be together." I am tired of the notion that men have to be constantly reminded of the bad things they have done instead of the good things and future things to come. Its almost hypocritical. Maybe that's why the divorce rate is pushing 50 percent. This means almost 1 out of every 2 marriages end in divorce. Wow.
Sometimes the saying "cant live with them, cant live without them" is a very true statement. All I ask is just try to be more consistent and we will do our best to train and be prepared for the storm when it comes even though we never know when it will hit, almost in "rogue wave" fashion.
Please understand that I am not writing this to bash women in any sense so please don't take it that way. I do respect all women and the choices that they make but sometimes it leaves me shaking my head wondering what is really going on because I don't understand the logic of the female brain.
On that note men- you better strap in for the bumpy ride because we are screwed!
Men and women are on two different levels when it comes to their everyday mind. I find it amazing how women are so "up and down" and "up and down" when it comes to their minds and everyday thinking. It truly is a "roller coaster" ride when dealing with the female species and sometimes I think that men will never succeed in completely understanding what a woman really wants. It usually ends in a lose-lose situation and you are either stuck out in the cold or on the couch.
One minute a woman will have emotions running wild and they will be completely happy in their day and the next second they will break down crying for no reason at all. Nothing that we do really triggers this change it just happens. I cant explain it and you cant explain it, it just happens.
Women seem to be riding the "Wild Thing" roller coaster through life with extreme highs, fast dips and low-lows while men are more of the "Amtrak train" sort of ride that is consistent on a steady pace with no real extreme lows and no real extreme highs with the exception of some peaks and valleys along the way.
You can usually feel the storm coming when talking on a consistent basis and although we try to be prepared for this storm we always seem to be missing something vital that we should have picked up along the way. (Your flares or rain gear...you get the analogy)
Women are almost "bipolar" in some senses of the word although they are not actually diagnosed by a physician (all of them anyway). They tend to say one thing and do the next and act like it didn't really happen or it is no big deal. The majority of the time it is no big deal but sometimes it can be and can affect certain situations. Even my own mom and sister are guilty of these things but to them it is no big deal. Its like "oh yeah I didn't tell you that,"no actually that must have been left out of the conversation but it would have been nice to know.
Men seem to walk on eggshells in relationships hoping to not make their wife or girlfriend mad because then "it will hit the fan" and they will pay in the future because we all know that women never let anything go. You could have done or said something years ago but when something comes up it is "remember that one time when this happened." Actually I do remember and am trying to move beyond that but somehow it always gets brought back up.
We need to work together and move on together if you are ever going to "be together." I am tired of the notion that men have to be constantly reminded of the bad things they have done instead of the good things and future things to come. Its almost hypocritical. Maybe that's why the divorce rate is pushing 50 percent. This means almost 1 out of every 2 marriages end in divorce. Wow.
Sometimes the saying "cant live with them, cant live without them" is a very true statement. All I ask is just try to be more consistent and we will do our best to train and be prepared for the storm when it comes even though we never know when it will hit, almost in "rogue wave" fashion.
Please understand that I am not writing this to bash women in any sense so please don't take it that way. I do respect all women and the choices that they make but sometimes it leaves me shaking my head wondering what is really going on because I don't understand the logic of the female brain.
On that note men- you better strap in for the bumpy ride because we are screwed!
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Oh What a Magical Night...
So after sitting in Conseco Fieldhouse for 12 hours yesterday, the last second provided for the best entertainment of all as the Gophers beat the Hoosiers of Indiana with Mr. Espy Blake Hoffarber swishing a one-handed runner as time expired.
It was a hostile environment and my dad and I were the minority in the crowd as obnoxious Indiana fans whined and complained about every call. Of course me being the Gophers rube that I am I was going back and forth with Indiana fans talking trash the whole game. I thought I would be eating my words once again as it looked as the though the refs were going to give the game to D.J. White and his Hoosiers but not so fast my friends....
With 1.5 seconds remaining Travis Busch threw a long 3/4 court pass which was caught by Hoffarber and swished as though he was reenacting Christian Laettner's famous shot to beat Kentucky. I went absolutely nuts and was running up and down the hallways like a complete mad man. It feels really good to be on the other side for once and to have that winning feeling is something every true Minnesota fan should experience. It is the morning after and I have had a chance to digest and feel as though I have experienced a miracle. The Tubby Smith led Gophers are in the semifinals against Illinois! Are you kidding me!!!
On a side note-the Gophers have 20 wins this season which is a complete improvement from last season. You cannot tell me that coaching doesn't make a difference and Tubby has made a complete turn around in just one season with complete lack of talent. Minnesota fans are lucky to have this man as coach and just by talking to fans from different teams around the Big 10 at the tournament, he also has their respect and the majority feels that Tubby will be turning this program around to something good. I would say this is a good start...
Down with the Sconnies today and GO GOPHERS!!!!
Rah Rah Ski-U-Mah!!!!
It was a hostile environment and my dad and I were the minority in the crowd as obnoxious Indiana fans whined and complained about every call. Of course me being the Gophers rube that I am I was going back and forth with Indiana fans talking trash the whole game. I thought I would be eating my words once again as it looked as the though the refs were going to give the game to D.J. White and his Hoosiers but not so fast my friends....
With 1.5 seconds remaining Travis Busch threw a long 3/4 court pass which was caught by Hoffarber and swished as though he was reenacting Christian Laettner's famous shot to beat Kentucky. I went absolutely nuts and was running up and down the hallways like a complete mad man. It feels really good to be on the other side for once and to have that winning feeling is something every true Minnesota fan should experience. It is the morning after and I have had a chance to digest and feel as though I have experienced a miracle. The Tubby Smith led Gophers are in the semifinals against Illinois! Are you kidding me!!!
On a side note-the Gophers have 20 wins this season which is a complete improvement from last season. You cannot tell me that coaching doesn't make a difference and Tubby has made a complete turn around in just one season with complete lack of talent. Minnesota fans are lucky to have this man as coach and just by talking to fans from different teams around the Big 10 at the tournament, he also has their respect and the majority feels that Tubby will be turning this program around to something good. I would say this is a good start...
Down with the Sconnies today and GO GOPHERS!!!!
Rah Rah Ski-U-Mah!!!!
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Big 10 Tourney Day 1
Gopher fans it wasn't pretty but its a win and that's all that matters and we live to fight another day and face Indiana tomorrow night in the second round of the Big 10 Tournament at Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, IN.
The day started with a dismal Michigan and Iowa game that was brutal to watch and saw Iowa do nothing as Michigan pulled away to capture the first win of the tourney and now face number one seeded Wisconsin tomorrow at noon. Game two was a better match up as Illinois beat Penn State on a last second layup to win in regulation. Illinois now will face Purdue tomorrow in game three.
Game three of the day displayed the Gophers come out like they belonged in the women's tournament as the rodents saw themselves down 13 at halftime. The second half was a different story as the Gophers came out quick and cut the deficit to 6 and eventually took the lead and held on the for the crucial win. Spencer Tollackson rolled his ankle early and tried to return to the game but could not go and sat the rest of the game which left the Gophers undersized in its lineup. Lawrence Westbrook was great and Dan Coleman, for once, was exceptional and sealed the deal with a pair of free throws late.
It was an exciting win for me especially being in attendance surrounded by Wisconsin faithful and Madison queers. I am currently having a few Coors Lights in the hotel room watching Sportscenter and there is a high school (have to be) girls volleyball team staying here and once again I feel old and perverted being in there presence (see previous blog). I really don't like being 26 years-old and would love to be in high school again about now!
The games begin at noon tomorrow (11 am MN time) with Wisconsin taking on Michigan followed by Michigan State and Ohio State. After a short break in action Purdue plays Illinois and then the mighty Golden Gophers of your beloved state take on the home state team Indiana Hoosiers.
My day would start great if Michigan could somehow knock off the Badgers first thing Friday afternoon; actually, it would maybe make my year so far. Seriously though, Wisconsin people are completely idiotic and are morons. I do have a camera and am not afraid to use it and will post pictures with vintage brat guzzling, cheese eating sconnies.
From old ladies in Wisconsin jumpsuits to roadkill cleaner-uppers wearing their Oakleys indoors this is what I have been dealing with....seriously Badger fans conform to 2008!
Time to have a few more Coors before I hit the hay. Until tomorrow Gopher Fans, good night and stay Minnesotan!
The day started with a dismal Michigan and Iowa game that was brutal to watch and saw Iowa do nothing as Michigan pulled away to capture the first win of the tourney and now face number one seeded Wisconsin tomorrow at noon. Game two was a better match up as Illinois beat Penn State on a last second layup to win in regulation. Illinois now will face Purdue tomorrow in game three.
Game three of the day displayed the Gophers come out like they belonged in the women's tournament as the rodents saw themselves down 13 at halftime. The second half was a different story as the Gophers came out quick and cut the deficit to 6 and eventually took the lead and held on the for the crucial win. Spencer Tollackson rolled his ankle early and tried to return to the game but could not go and sat the rest of the game which left the Gophers undersized in its lineup. Lawrence Westbrook was great and Dan Coleman, for once, was exceptional and sealed the deal with a pair of free throws late.
It was an exciting win for me especially being in attendance surrounded by Wisconsin faithful and Madison queers. I am currently having a few Coors Lights in the hotel room watching Sportscenter and there is a high school (have to be) girls volleyball team staying here and once again I feel old and perverted being in there presence (see previous blog). I really don't like being 26 years-old and would love to be in high school again about now!
The games begin at noon tomorrow (11 am MN time) with Wisconsin taking on Michigan followed by Michigan State and Ohio State. After a short break in action Purdue plays Illinois and then the mighty Golden Gophers of your beloved state take on the home state team Indiana Hoosiers.
My day would start great if Michigan could somehow knock off the Badgers first thing Friday afternoon; actually, it would maybe make my year so far. Seriously though, Wisconsin people are completely idiotic and are morons. I do have a camera and am not afraid to use it and will post pictures with vintage brat guzzling, cheese eating sconnies.
From old ladies in Wisconsin jumpsuits to roadkill cleaner-uppers wearing their Oakleys indoors this is what I have been dealing with....seriously Badger fans conform to 2008!
Time to have a few more Coors before I hit the hay. Until tomorrow Gopher Fans, good night and stay Minnesotan!
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Mallrats
So I had the honor of spending a surplus of my time at the Mall of America last week and I have been mulling this over the past few years...
How the hell do they power that place? I am convinced that they suck the energy and life out of each and every person that walks around that hell hole. I think they draw the energy from the people through the lights in the ceiling. Makes sense doesn't it? I mean they are always on and there are always a shit ton of people there. Sounds like the perfect equation to me.
I am sure others have felt this way and I am not the only one who is alone in saying that after returning from your trip to the Mall of America (for whatever reason it may be) that you have never been more wiped of your energy and the only thing on your mind is laying down somewhere. I have often thought of taking extended naps in my car in the parking ramp before attempting to drive home due to mine and others safety. I usually try to avoid that "place" at all costs but I had a few friends in town from the "sticks" that wanted to go so I said what the hell. I mean it was a Monday and it was better than sitting in my cubicle at work as I am presently doing typing this blog.
We first went to IKEA which I was a virgin. (I guess its ok to be an IKEA virgin--says so on the wall as you ride the escalator up) This place is quite amazing. Not what I was expecting at all. They even served food at this place...two cafeterias and ice cream as you pass through the checkout to leave. I of course didn't buy anything and never really planned on it but if I had a cool house or apartment and had some money to spend I am sure I could furnish it quite nicely. After 2 hours at IKEA we ventured across the street to the life sucking place called MOA. I was mainly along for the ride (or walk) and a lot of it. I once again didn't buy anything because that is what I do. After several hours there I felt as if I had developed narcolepsy as I felt as if I could fall asleep at any moment. Those lights and the constant dodging of people is about enough to move to the secluded mountains in preparation to never see another living person again.
The mall is filled with certain kinds of people and here is a list that I have come up with:
-high school girls who look older than they really are and make guys like me feel old and creepy
-your basic "Goth Group" d-bags
-gangstas and chicken heads that talk all kinds of shit and haven't actually bought anything at the mall since '97 besides at the food court
-rich older ladies who are trying to be young and have a minimum of 10 bags between their 2 hands
-your PDA couples who like to hold hands and walk really fucking slow
-"skids" which is a Canadian term for punk young kids that you want to punch the shit out of (often wearing those "cool" healy shoes and rolling around like delinquents)
-LAST BUT NOT LEAST--THE WALKERS!!! People who just go there to walk! Get a life or a treadmill and save yourself the embarrassment.
I consider myself the "businessman" at the mall. All about business. I know what store I am going to and don't piss around. Get what I need and get out. This often dictates even where I park in ramps. My main goal, shortest route possible. Done deal.
So if you have some time to kill and want to develop high blood pressure followed by a sleeping condition go the Mall of America. I mean it is the biggest mall in America and they are always looking for "fresh fish" to suck the life out of!
Upcoming blogs include--Favre Retires, Girls and why they are bipolar, My new Infiniti G35 Coupe and live blog updates from Indianapolis at the Big 10 Tournament as I leave tomorrow morning.
How the hell do they power that place? I am convinced that they suck the energy and life out of each and every person that walks around that hell hole. I think they draw the energy from the people through the lights in the ceiling. Makes sense doesn't it? I mean they are always on and there are always a shit ton of people there. Sounds like the perfect equation to me.
I am sure others have felt this way and I am not the only one who is alone in saying that after returning from your trip to the Mall of America (for whatever reason it may be) that you have never been more wiped of your energy and the only thing on your mind is laying down somewhere. I have often thought of taking extended naps in my car in the parking ramp before attempting to drive home due to mine and others safety. I usually try to avoid that "place" at all costs but I had a few friends in town from the "sticks" that wanted to go so I said what the hell. I mean it was a Monday and it was better than sitting in my cubicle at work as I am presently doing typing this blog.
We first went to IKEA which I was a virgin. (I guess its ok to be an IKEA virgin--says so on the wall as you ride the escalator up) This place is quite amazing. Not what I was expecting at all. They even served food at this place...two cafeterias and ice cream as you pass through the checkout to leave. I of course didn't buy anything and never really planned on it but if I had a cool house or apartment and had some money to spend I am sure I could furnish it quite nicely. After 2 hours at IKEA we ventured across the street to the life sucking place called MOA. I was mainly along for the ride (or walk) and a lot of it. I once again didn't buy anything because that is what I do. After several hours there I felt as if I had developed narcolepsy as I felt as if I could fall asleep at any moment. Those lights and the constant dodging of people is about enough to move to the secluded mountains in preparation to never see another living person again.
The mall is filled with certain kinds of people and here is a list that I have come up with:
-high school girls who look older than they really are and make guys like me feel old and creepy
-your basic "Goth Group" d-bags
-gangstas and chicken heads that talk all kinds of shit and haven't actually bought anything at the mall since '97 besides at the food court
-rich older ladies who are trying to be young and have a minimum of 10 bags between their 2 hands
-your PDA couples who like to hold hands and walk really fucking slow
-"skids" which is a Canadian term for punk young kids that you want to punch the shit out of (often wearing those "cool" healy shoes and rolling around like delinquents)
-LAST BUT NOT LEAST--THE WALKERS!!! People who just go there to walk! Get a life or a treadmill and save yourself the embarrassment.
I consider myself the "businessman" at the mall. All about business. I know what store I am going to and don't piss around. Get what I need and get out. This often dictates even where I park in ramps. My main goal, shortest route possible. Done deal.
So if you have some time to kill and want to develop high blood pressure followed by a sleeping condition go the Mall of America. I mean it is the biggest mall in America and they are always looking for "fresh fish" to suck the life out of!
Upcoming blogs include--Favre Retires, Girls and why they are bipolar, My new Infiniti G35 Coupe and live blog updates from Indianapolis at the Big 10 Tournament as I leave tomorrow morning.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Junk Mail
So as part of my daily routine I check the mail when I get home from work. Never fails that everyday I get useless information in my mailbox that instantly goes in the trash. This has inspired me to dedicate a blog to these "pointless mailers."
Whoever thought it was a good idea to mail random people pointless information ranging from fake plastic credit cards barfing to you that "you have been pre-approved" or unnecessary coupons for shit that people have never heard of let alone think about using. I seem to get this junk mail a solid 4 or 5 times a week and without hesitation every time it goes in the overflowing trash can in the mailbox area where the rest of the tenants dispose these pointless sheets also as easy and fast as a used Kleenex. This brings a smile to my face and if I am in the right mood maybe even a quiet chuckle. I cant help but think that some person actually thought this was a "good idea" and we just throw the damn things away without even thinking about it. I have yet to meet a person that takes these in their actual apartment and sits down and reads these things and later fills their own garbage with useless trash. This is what the trash can in your mailbox area is for. You all know what I am talking about...
Once again...someone should be fired.
You are not only wasting paper you are wasting my time and effort. I do not want to dig through my plump full mailbox to discover that I have no actual useful mail like bills and shit. Obviously everyone has bills at some point but come on do you need to send me this garbage every single day? I almost get my hopes up when I open my mailbox and see that its full as if I might have something cool like a check or some money or even an Eastbay magazine (got one today)! Lets just say that I hypothetically look through this waste and find something that I might consider using.
For example, a cheap oil change or food coupon. First off that means I need to go to a new place and get out of my routine of going where I usually go (looking up directions, possibly getting lost and new shit in general) and more than likely I will get there and the coupon will not be valid anyway because it is "not honored at that location" or even better "your car doesn't use that kind of oil" so you are not eligible for the oil change that costs the $19.95 and you get stuck paying the same old $39.95 or whatever. Which brings me to my next point...whats with $19.95 or $39.99? Why don't you just charge my ass $20 or $40. Simply ridiculous for the .95 or .99. Some things I just don't understand, its like they think that we think we are getting a good deal for $19.95 because its under $20. Get a life!
So back to my waste of paper rant, save both of us some time and just don't send this crap to me. Use the paper for your joints, doobies or cigarettes or something. Then maybe you can use your own sucky coupons and buy your own ass a "buy one, get one free" pizza during your "munchies."
Why don't you roll that up and smoke it!
Whoever thought it was a good idea to mail random people pointless information ranging from fake plastic credit cards barfing to you that "you have been pre-approved" or unnecessary coupons for shit that people have never heard of let alone think about using. I seem to get this junk mail a solid 4 or 5 times a week and without hesitation every time it goes in the overflowing trash can in the mailbox area where the rest of the tenants dispose these pointless sheets also as easy and fast as a used Kleenex. This brings a smile to my face and if I am in the right mood maybe even a quiet chuckle. I cant help but think that some person actually thought this was a "good idea" and we just throw the damn things away without even thinking about it. I have yet to meet a person that takes these in their actual apartment and sits down and reads these things and later fills their own garbage with useless trash. This is what the trash can in your mailbox area is for. You all know what I am talking about...
Once again...someone should be fired.
You are not only wasting paper you are wasting my time and effort. I do not want to dig through my plump full mailbox to discover that I have no actual useful mail like bills and shit. Obviously everyone has bills at some point but come on do you need to send me this garbage every single day? I almost get my hopes up when I open my mailbox and see that its full as if I might have something cool like a check or some money or even an Eastbay magazine (got one today)! Lets just say that I hypothetically look through this waste and find something that I might consider using.
For example, a cheap oil change or food coupon. First off that means I need to go to a new place and get out of my routine of going where I usually go (looking up directions, possibly getting lost and new shit in general) and more than likely I will get there and the coupon will not be valid anyway because it is "not honored at that location" or even better "your car doesn't use that kind of oil" so you are not eligible for the oil change that costs the $19.95 and you get stuck paying the same old $39.95 or whatever. Which brings me to my next point...whats with $19.95 or $39.99? Why don't you just charge my ass $20 or $40. Simply ridiculous for the .95 or .99. Some things I just don't understand, its like they think that we think we are getting a good deal for $19.95 because its under $20. Get a life!
So back to my waste of paper rant, save both of us some time and just don't send this crap to me. Use the paper for your joints, doobies or cigarettes or something. Then maybe you can use your own sucky coupons and buy your own ass a "buy one, get one free" pizza during your "munchies."
Why don't you roll that up and smoke it!
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Arrogant Assholes and Complaining Co-Workers...
Just settling in for the debut of Shaquille O'Neal with the Suns against the mousy rodent aka Kobe Bryant led LA Lakers.
If the pregame was not bad enough with Stuart Scott and his messed up eyes leading the way (really though which of his eyes are bad I can't decide), ESPN thought it would be a good idea to give him the supporting cast of Steven A. Smith and the Grateful Dead head, Bill Walton. If Smith is not bad enough on his own with his arrogant opinions and stupid loud voice accompanied by Walton with his extreme and wordy sayings. For example, "If the Lakers are going to win this game, they are going to have to score more points." Really Bill, no shit. Think about what you are saying and please stop giving fellatio to any team that plays in California (UCLA, the Lakers, etc) because it is hard to understand you with a dick in your mouth.
Whoever thought it would be a good idea to put these three morons together should be fired.
Now on to complaining co-workers, we have recently went through a change of procedures and duties at my workplace and it is almost comical to me that some things are never good enough for people who arent qualified enough to even be complaining. Just because you are old and lazy and dont want to change your routine and possibly wake up in your life from your nap called work...zzzzzz.
These are the people that their biggest decision or most important part of the work day is "what to eat for lunch." I like to call them "dead weight." They are also the ones that abuse the overtime and ruin it for the rest of us. Mostly old bitchy, catty, ass women. Sorry ladies but it is true. Just quit your fucking bitching for two seconds and do your fucking job please. Thanks.
I also have the pleasure of being surrounded by certain people in my cubicle area with constant fucking drama in their life. Single dad with troubled kid who is getting kicked out of daycare again and needs to be picked up and then its a battle with his ex-wife of who is going to pick him up and why she is not paying her child support or daycare. On the other side, a nice older lady who is an overprotective mother and is constantly worried about her son and being sick, car troubles, car accidents, talking to her parents, falling on the ice hurting her back, arguing with her ex-husband, late to work, leaving early, etc. WOW can you have any more drama in your life!
Hopefully with change of duties comes change of cubicles. By the way I am very underpaid for the shit that I have to listen to and go through on a day-to-day basis...
If the pregame was not bad enough with Stuart Scott and his messed up eyes leading the way (really though which of his eyes are bad I can't decide), ESPN thought it would be a good idea to give him the supporting cast of Steven A. Smith and the Grateful Dead head, Bill Walton. If Smith is not bad enough on his own with his arrogant opinions and stupid loud voice accompanied by Walton with his extreme and wordy sayings. For example, "If the Lakers are going to win this game, they are going to have to score more points." Really Bill, no shit. Think about what you are saying and please stop giving fellatio to any team that plays in California (UCLA, the Lakers, etc) because it is hard to understand you with a dick in your mouth.
Whoever thought it would be a good idea to put these three morons together should be fired.
Now on to complaining co-workers, we have recently went through a change of procedures and duties at my workplace and it is almost comical to me that some things are never good enough for people who arent qualified enough to even be complaining. Just because you are old and lazy and dont want to change your routine and possibly wake up in your life from your nap called work...zzzzzz.
These are the people that their biggest decision or most important part of the work day is "what to eat for lunch." I like to call them "dead weight." They are also the ones that abuse the overtime and ruin it for the rest of us. Mostly old bitchy, catty, ass women. Sorry ladies but it is true. Just quit your fucking bitching for two seconds and do your fucking job please. Thanks.
I also have the pleasure of being surrounded by certain people in my cubicle area with constant fucking drama in their life. Single dad with troubled kid who is getting kicked out of daycare again and needs to be picked up and then its a battle with his ex-wife of who is going to pick him up and why she is not paying her child support or daycare. On the other side, a nice older lady who is an overprotective mother and is constantly worried about her son and being sick, car troubles, car accidents, talking to her parents, falling on the ice hurting her back, arguing with her ex-husband, late to work, leaving early, etc. WOW can you have any more drama in your life!
Hopefully with change of duties comes change of cubicles. By the way I am very underpaid for the shit that I have to listen to and go through on a day-to-day basis...
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Jesus this, Moses that..Abraham hit me over the head with a whiffle ball bat..
Just got done watching the Purdue/Michigan St game on ESPN and the Boilermakers just beat their second top 10 ranked team in a week. Purdue really has a nice squad this year and their coach Matt Painter could get coach of the year recognition not only in the Big 10, but nationally. They have a squad filled with freshman led by 6-9 white boy Robbie Hummel who can really ball. The Gophers are also playing tonight against Illinois at the barn but due to the fact that my wonderful cable provider Comcast cant come to an agreement with the Big 10 network I am not watching it. I find it hard to believe that these two networks cant come to an agreement after all of this time. Greedy bastards. I mean we live in the middle of Big 10 country yet half of the population cant watch or follow their team no matter how ugly the game is. Just checked the score of the Gophers game and they are down by 13 just starting the 2nd half. Good thing I am not watching it-so much for the Gophs to make the tourney this year, NIT here we come! I am going to the Big 10 tournament in a month or so in Indianapolis so that should provide for some entertaining hoops as long as Wisconsin and their douchebag fans dont win it all or this guy will be real ugly and is not above punching an older man or woman badger fan in their drunken sconnie ass face! If that happens I might be spending a bit more time than expected in the great city of Indianapolis and some of their "facilities."
Twins signed Livan Hernandez today to fill the void on the mound for Johan Santana. Yippy skippy, another washed up fat ass that will never pan out to anything. (See Sidney Ponson and Ramon Ortiz) I put together a group outing for a Twins game at my workplace last year and received an email from the sales rep from the Twins trying to set up another group outing this year. I responded nicely about how we wont be attending due to the fact that the Twins didnt sign Johan or Hunter and then gave a nice bashing to ownership directed at Carl Pohlad and only his desire to make money off the team and not caring about winning. She responded and said she understood. I just laughed. Nice franchise. Pohlad we are still waiting for you to die anyday now. Thanks.
Timberwolves are still competing for the worst record in the NBA. They helped that effort by losing again tonight in New Jersey. They now have 10 wins and 40 losses, its ok though because Randy Wittman is a really good coach and will never get fired because he is friends with ownership (sarcasm is very thick their folks if you dont know me that well). Another laughable franchise, what a joke. Please dont ever pay for a timberwolves ticket this year...they are brutal. Still holding out for the worst record in the league on my end and I say we try to lose the rest of the games this year so we can have a better chance at the #1 pick in next years draft.
Wild are currently down 2-1 in Edmonton with 3 minutes left in the 2nd period. They are simply getting out played. I will try and watch the rest of the game but am not promising anything.
Also enough about this damn ROGER CLEMENS SHIT! Nobody cares anymore and I hope he gets convicted and gets the ELECTRIC CHAIR!!!!!
On a serious note, Kenechi Udeze, defensive lineman for the Vikings has leukemia. Wow, just think about that. You think you have it all and then all of a sudden, bam...you have cancer. Life is really too short. He just had a kid with his wife not too long ago and it is a very sad situation.
Well just thought I would spread the negativity that is Minnesota. Time to continue to look for a new car...
Twins signed Livan Hernandez today to fill the void on the mound for Johan Santana. Yippy skippy, another washed up fat ass that will never pan out to anything. (See Sidney Ponson and Ramon Ortiz) I put together a group outing for a Twins game at my workplace last year and received an email from the sales rep from the Twins trying to set up another group outing this year. I responded nicely about how we wont be attending due to the fact that the Twins didnt sign Johan or Hunter and then gave a nice bashing to ownership directed at Carl Pohlad and only his desire to make money off the team and not caring about winning. She responded and said she understood. I just laughed. Nice franchise. Pohlad we are still waiting for you to die anyday now. Thanks.
Timberwolves are still competing for the worst record in the NBA. They helped that effort by losing again tonight in New Jersey. They now have 10 wins and 40 losses, its ok though because Randy Wittman is a really good coach and will never get fired because he is friends with ownership (sarcasm is very thick their folks if you dont know me that well). Another laughable franchise, what a joke. Please dont ever pay for a timberwolves ticket this year...they are brutal. Still holding out for the worst record in the league on my end and I say we try to lose the rest of the games this year so we can have a better chance at the #1 pick in next years draft.
Wild are currently down 2-1 in Edmonton with 3 minutes left in the 2nd period. They are simply getting out played. I will try and watch the rest of the game but am not promising anything.
Also enough about this damn ROGER CLEMENS SHIT! Nobody cares anymore and I hope he gets convicted and gets the ELECTRIC CHAIR!!!!!
On a serious note, Kenechi Udeze, defensive lineman for the Vikings has leukemia. Wow, just think about that. You think you have it all and then all of a sudden, bam...you have cancer. Life is really too short. He just had a kid with his wife not too long ago and it is a very sad situation.
Well just thought I would spread the negativity that is Minnesota. Time to continue to look for a new car...
Friday, February 8, 2008
Stop lights in my life...
So I have been beginning to wonder if the traffic controllers (people who control the stop lights in the area) are out to get me and just gather around in a circle watching and laughing at me while sipping their coffee as I continually get stopped at every stop light that I encounter. Its beginning to be quite a game for me actually. I have come to the conclusion that if I think about a light turning yellow followed by a quick red as I approach it will instantly turn to my dissatisfaction. Never fails. So now I have come to the conclusion that if I play it cool and dont let the stop light know that I acknowledged it, maybe it will not see me coming and actually stay green. But if I make direct eye contact and think about it, there it goes it just turned yellow and now red. Another opionion from a friend of mine suggested that maybe someone secretly implanted a sensor in my car that works in connection with lights to turn and continually disappoint...especially when I need to get somewhere in a timely fashion.
So for all of you that have played this game...please stop playing and dont let "them" get the satisfaction. I have actually begun to make mock bets with myself as I drive now and have been making a haul in fake money that I have been betting against...well myself. For example, when approaching the next stop light and if its not already red (which I am sure it will be, why wouldnt it) say to yourself "$50 on it turning yellow or red" and you too can start building your fake money account and then you can decide what you want to buy with this "money" as you sit your ass at the red light.
Keep on truckin' on
(Spell check isnt working for some reason on this piece of crap site so please excuse some of the spelling and punctuation)
So for all of you that have played this game...please stop playing and dont let "them" get the satisfaction. I have actually begun to make mock bets with myself as I drive now and have been making a haul in fake money that I have been betting against...well myself. For example, when approaching the next stop light and if its not already red (which I am sure it will be, why wouldnt it) say to yourself "$50 on it turning yellow or red" and you too can start building your fake money account and then you can decide what you want to buy with this "money" as you sit your ass at the red light.
Keep on truckin' on
(Spell check isnt working for some reason on this piece of crap site so please excuse some of the spelling and punctuation)
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
I hate people!
Just got home from the wonderful traffic and the blood pressure is really high so I thought I'd better sit down and write a few things so you can get the full effect.
494 East was a mess today, just today yes. How the hell can it differ from one day to the other? I just dont get it. I mean I understand accidents happen and that leads to jams but what the hell! One day it takes me barely 10-15 minutes to get home and the next its 30 minutes and I have a headache and feel like I am going to have a heart attack. There are some many fucking stupid ass people in this world that the government should really supply helmets to the entire population. Drive like you are from here and not from the Flinstone era. Come on please. Everybody is so concerned to call who ever the fuck they need to talk to so bad or text them that they dont pay attention to the road. (Yes I have done both of these while driving before but feel confident I can do both at the same time without wearing the govt supplied helmet). Just drive people...we all have something better to do than sit in our cars and not be able to move.
I just dont understand how traffic can differ so much from day-to-day. Someone's ass needs to be fired. I am only 26 years old and cant take it anymore. I really hope something changes soon because I am going to end up doing something extreme. This is just getting ridiculous.
Also to further illustrate my point of stupid fucking asses, on my way down to my car today in our heated garage area there is a vending machine for residents to get snacks, etc. Well today I opened the door to go to my car and see glass all over the floor and the vending machine vandalized and the candy nearly emptied. I thought about grabbing a Caramello but then thought otherwise as this question popped into my head at 8:45 am this morning..."who the fuck broke into this vending machine and what the fuck for?" Boy they sure made a hall on that candy, maybe even $40 worth being that I worked for a vending company before and the candy that is in the machine is "dirt cheap" to the vending company and they rip our asses off. I then drove to the office and saw a maintenence guy on the way and passed the word on. He said they did it in another building too and must have been on a late night/into the early morning sugar binge and thought that robbing vending machines would be a good idea.
I just hate people more and more everyday with the stupid small talk, traffic, bullshit that nobody really gives a shit about. I really dont understand how "some" people can actually make it in life day-to-day.
Well my head is going to explode so I am going to watch some tv before I go work out and venture to the gym where I am sure it is filled with retards that haven't received their helmets yet in the mail.
Before I go...Just received word from my roommate who just walked into our apartment that the gym is packed with people and some fucking idiot has his shirt off. I told you guys. Fuck it, I am going to sit my ass on the couch and eat!
494 East was a mess today, just today yes. How the hell can it differ from one day to the other? I just dont get it. I mean I understand accidents happen and that leads to jams but what the hell! One day it takes me barely 10-15 minutes to get home and the next its 30 minutes and I have a headache and feel like I am going to have a heart attack. There are some many fucking stupid ass people in this world that the government should really supply helmets to the entire population. Drive like you are from here and not from the Flinstone era. Come on please. Everybody is so concerned to call who ever the fuck they need to talk to so bad or text them that they dont pay attention to the road. (Yes I have done both of these while driving before but feel confident I can do both at the same time without wearing the govt supplied helmet). Just drive people...we all have something better to do than sit in our cars and not be able to move.
I just dont understand how traffic can differ so much from day-to-day. Someone's ass needs to be fired. I am only 26 years old and cant take it anymore. I really hope something changes soon because I am going to end up doing something extreme. This is just getting ridiculous.
Also to further illustrate my point of stupid fucking asses, on my way down to my car today in our heated garage area there is a vending machine for residents to get snacks, etc. Well today I opened the door to go to my car and see glass all over the floor and the vending machine vandalized and the candy nearly emptied. I thought about grabbing a Caramello but then thought otherwise as this question popped into my head at 8:45 am this morning..."who the fuck broke into this vending machine and what the fuck for?" Boy they sure made a hall on that candy, maybe even $40 worth being that I worked for a vending company before and the candy that is in the machine is "dirt cheap" to the vending company and they rip our asses off. I then drove to the office and saw a maintenence guy on the way and passed the word on. He said they did it in another building too and must have been on a late night/into the early morning sugar binge and thought that robbing vending machines would be a good idea.
I just hate people more and more everyday with the stupid small talk, traffic, bullshit that nobody really gives a shit about. I really dont understand how "some" people can actually make it in life day-to-day.
Well my head is going to explode so I am going to watch some tv before I go work out and venture to the gym where I am sure it is filled with retards that haven't received their helmets yet in the mail.
Before I go...Just received word from my roommate who just walked into our apartment that the gym is packed with people and some fucking idiot has his shirt off. I told you guys. Fuck it, I am going to sit my ass on the couch and eat!
Friday, February 1, 2008
Super Bowl Preview & Prediction
The much anticipated Super Bowl XLII is vastly approaching and the buildup is at its peak. Time for the game to be played on the field and the talking to subside. Along with all of that, comes my much anticipated prediction by all of you readers...courtesy of LoserVille's own here it is.
The Patriots are -11.5 favorites over the G-men from New York. I like the Giants to cover that spread and get the money. I myself put a little something on the spread so of course for obvious reasons I hope the Giants can cover. I think it should be an exciting, competitive game but I think the Patriots will be a drive or two better than the suprising Eli Manning led G-men to complete the undefeated season and go down in NFL history.
My Super Bowl XLII MVP prediction is none other than former Golden Gopher running back Laurence "L-Mo" Maroney as I like to call him cause we close like that. I think he gets the money and has 100+yards and at least a touchdown.
The game will come down to the small gaps in Michael Strahan and Maroney's teeth and should be a good game for the most part pending any weather disturbances like last year. I myself hope that the weather is not an issue because that just makes for a boring ass game.
Hopefully more than one commercial will make me crack a smile for once also. There is so much build up to these that it is uncalled for. I am guessing that Bud Light will have a few people sitting on their couch laughing while others (me) might crack a smile. Super Bowl commercials=overrated. If they wanted to make people laugh they should just hire me to produce a few adds, then we would be talking. Needless to say my hopes are low for the commercials and high for the actual game.
If not, I am sure I will be so full from eating and drinking everything in sight that I will have dozed off by half time Schley style with one arm above the head.
Pizza $30
Tip $6
Beer $25
Seeing Michael Strahan with the huge gap in his teeth and lisp saying "I am going to Disneyland." Priceless
The Patriots are -11.5 favorites over the G-men from New York. I like the Giants to cover that spread and get the money. I myself put a little something on the spread so of course for obvious reasons I hope the Giants can cover. I think it should be an exciting, competitive game but I think the Patriots will be a drive or two better than the suprising Eli Manning led G-men to complete the undefeated season and go down in NFL history.
My Super Bowl XLII MVP prediction is none other than former Golden Gopher running back Laurence "L-Mo" Maroney as I like to call him cause we close like that. I think he gets the money and has 100+yards and at least a touchdown.
The game will come down to the small gaps in Michael Strahan and Maroney's teeth and should be a good game for the most part pending any weather disturbances like last year. I myself hope that the weather is not an issue because that just makes for a boring ass game.
Hopefully more than one commercial will make me crack a smile for once also. There is so much build up to these that it is uncalled for. I am guessing that Bud Light will have a few people sitting on their couch laughing while others (me) might crack a smile. Super Bowl commercials=overrated. If they wanted to make people laugh they should just hire me to produce a few adds, then we would be talking. Needless to say my hopes are low for the commercials and high for the actual game.
If not, I am sure I will be so full from eating and drinking everything in sight that I will have dozed off by half time Schley style with one arm above the head.
Pizza $30
Tip $6
Beer $25
Seeing Michael Strahan with the huge gap in his teeth and lisp saying "I am going to Disneyland." Priceless
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
State of Hockey
The Wild won 5-1 tonight over the Anaheim "Mighty" Ducks and I actually watched a good majority of the game. It was on Versus in HD so it made it a lot more interesting also with surround sound it was like I was at the game with the $80 still in my pocket. Brian Rolston is on a roll and has scored four goals in his last four games and is definitely living up to his label as a "streaky player." Gaborik also had a nice goal. If Rolston continues to play well I think the Wild will keep him around and not trade him before the trade deadline. Backstrom was also on point tonight but Anaheim, the defending Stanley Cup champs, are definitely struggling to score goals. Teemu Selanne rejoining the team for the Ducks who scored 48 goals last season, but did not play against the Wild tonight, should be a nice addition. The Wild need to win the division in order to get a good draw in the playoffs and not have to square off against a Detroit team that will destroy us in the first round. Just my opinion...
Times are sad when I am actually making it a point to watch the Wild play. I have never enjoyed hockey in my life, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I just hope my watching and cheering for this team doesn't jinx them and they end up tanking the season. With my luck it will happen. I just hope they can continue to win games and make it to the playoffs. I mean it is the "State of Hockey" that we live in so I guess it doesn't hurt to watch the hometown squad.
I thought about actually buying a Wild hat today, but that would mean a total collapse and we would probably end up trading Gaborik for some prospects. God help us all and I will hold off on the purchase.
Times are sad when I am actually making it a point to watch the Wild play. I have never enjoyed hockey in my life, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I just hope my watching and cheering for this team doesn't jinx them and they end up tanking the season. With my luck it will happen. I just hope they can continue to win games and make it to the playoffs. I mean it is the "State of Hockey" that we live in so I guess it doesn't hurt to watch the hometown squad.
I thought about actually buying a Wild hat today, but that would mean a total collapse and we would probably end up trading Gaborik for some prospects. God help us all and I will hold off on the purchase.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Johan Santana, a Metropolitan
Another Minnesota superstar is moving on to bigger and better things.
Johan Santana is going to be a New York Metropolitan. The news broke around 2 pm this afternoon in an article out of the "USA Today" showing a deal that had been agreed upon by the two clubs (Twins and Mets) sending Johan Santana to the Mets for four prospects that "might" end up playing in a Twins uniform some day. This deal is pending Santana waives his no trade clause, passes a physical and agrees to a contract extension which is pretty much a done deal.
Being a Twins fan and a Minnesota sports fan for the most part in general, this is just another reason why my blog is titled the way it is. Loserville. In my opinion, this has to be the worst deal the Twins have received out of all of the speculation and reported offers that they were given. I think that the Twins new General Manager might have gotten his tenure off to a rocky start after letting this 2-time Cy Young Award winner get away for a couple prospects. Not even the Mets #1 prospect for that matter. In early trade talks between the Yankees and the Red Sox deals ranged from Phil Hughes and Melky Cabrera to Jon Lester and Jacoby Ellsbury who could have made an immediate impact and the Twins would have had a chance to win now, in suddenly an even more competitive American League Central Division instead the same old routine "develop more prospects" and maybe get out of the first round of the playoffs...some day. What this deal (if it indeed becomes final) tells me is that the Twins are once again looking to the future. Thanks Carl Pohlad, you can "kick the bucket" any day now.
After last weeks locking up of Justin Morneau and Michael Cuddyer to contract extensions totaling $104 million and looking back, the Twins almost had me a bit excited, but once again it ended in disappointment. I know the Twins made offers that matched Santana's per-year deal money wise but couldn't come through as far as longevity and I don't blame them. Six or seven year deals for pitchers now days is a bit ridiculous (thanks Barry Zito) because they will never last that long and the majority of their production comes in the first few years and the rest is just guaranteed money and they will probably just get hurt and not play anyway but teams in the large market are able to satisfy these players with these ridiculous contracts and leave other teams out in the cold. Baseball needs a salary cap in today's game because it is getting a bit out of control.
With Johan now gone, so is my interest in baseball this season before it even starts. Detroit has loaded up, Cleveland is coming off a season a win short of the series and the White Sox have also added players to help them win games. So have the Royals for God sake. I predict the Twins to finish 4th or maybe even be in a tight race for last with the Royals this upcoming season...how exciting. After today my potential attendance of Twins games at the "inflatable toilet aka Metrodome" went from maybe 5-6 games to maybe 1-2 (possibly in Milwaukee). Thanks Loserville USA, once again you came through to provide fans with a bad taste in their mouths.
To Johan Santana, enjoy the spotlight in the big apple and spend a bunch of money on strippers with your new huge contract. Hopefully you can follow in the footsteps of the rest of the superstars that got away and went on to bigger and better things: Kevin Garnett, Randy Moss, David Ortiz...just to name a few!
Go Wild! (Its really hard to say that) Nice weather tonight by the way...makes me sick.
Johan Santana is going to be a New York Metropolitan. The news broke around 2 pm this afternoon in an article out of the "USA Today" showing a deal that had been agreed upon by the two clubs (Twins and Mets) sending Johan Santana to the Mets for four prospects that "might" end up playing in a Twins uniform some day. This deal is pending Santana waives his no trade clause, passes a physical and agrees to a contract extension which is pretty much a done deal.
Being a Twins fan and a Minnesota sports fan for the most part in general, this is just another reason why my blog is titled the way it is. Loserville. In my opinion, this has to be the worst deal the Twins have received out of all of the speculation and reported offers that they were given. I think that the Twins new General Manager might have gotten his tenure off to a rocky start after letting this 2-time Cy Young Award winner get away for a couple prospects. Not even the Mets #1 prospect for that matter. In early trade talks between the Yankees and the Red Sox deals ranged from Phil Hughes and Melky Cabrera to Jon Lester and Jacoby Ellsbury who could have made an immediate impact and the Twins would have had a chance to win now, in suddenly an even more competitive American League Central Division instead the same old routine "develop more prospects" and maybe get out of the first round of the playoffs...some day. What this deal (if it indeed becomes final) tells me is that the Twins are once again looking to the future. Thanks Carl Pohlad, you can "kick the bucket" any day now.
After last weeks locking up of Justin Morneau and Michael Cuddyer to contract extensions totaling $104 million and looking back, the Twins almost had me a bit excited, but once again it ended in disappointment. I know the Twins made offers that matched Santana's per-year deal money wise but couldn't come through as far as longevity and I don't blame them. Six or seven year deals for pitchers now days is a bit ridiculous (thanks Barry Zito) because they will never last that long and the majority of their production comes in the first few years and the rest is just guaranteed money and they will probably just get hurt and not play anyway but teams in the large market are able to satisfy these players with these ridiculous contracts and leave other teams out in the cold. Baseball needs a salary cap in today's game because it is getting a bit out of control.
With Johan now gone, so is my interest in baseball this season before it even starts. Detroit has loaded up, Cleveland is coming off a season a win short of the series and the White Sox have also added players to help them win games. So have the Royals for God sake. I predict the Twins to finish 4th or maybe even be in a tight race for last with the Royals this upcoming season...how exciting. After today my potential attendance of Twins games at the "inflatable toilet aka Metrodome" went from maybe 5-6 games to maybe 1-2 (possibly in Milwaukee). Thanks Loserville USA, once again you came through to provide fans with a bad taste in their mouths.
To Johan Santana, enjoy the spotlight in the big apple and spend a bunch of money on strippers with your new huge contract. Hopefully you can follow in the footsteps of the rest of the superstars that got away and went on to bigger and better things: Kevin Garnett, Randy Moss, David Ortiz...just to name a few!
Go Wild! (Its really hard to say that) Nice weather tonight by the way...makes me sick.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Working for the Weekend
Saturday night I met a group of friends for an early birthday bash for the notorious Jon Schley. I headed over to Plymouth to Schley's place for a few beers and to watch the Gophers/Ohio State game (some people called it a game I called it a laugher) before we headed downtown Minneapolis. So over a few beers and some frozen pizzas Schley style, Matt Balt "The Birdman," Schley and wife Jodi, Schley's sister and her boyfriend piled into Schley's car and headed downtown to the ACME comedy club to get our tickets for the 10:30 show. There we met the rest of our group which consisted of 20 or so people over some drinks before the show. After getting a solid buzz pregaming it was showtime. The show was pretty decent with two comedians (Miss Shannon from B96 and some funny older mom who talked shit about WalMart) opening before the main guy Ian Bagg . Dude was freaking hilarious and seemed to go on forever. He went on a little after 10:30 and didn't finish until close to 1 am. With plenty of crowd interaction and ripping on guests, Bagg seemed to improv for the last hour or so which I thought was pretty impressive.
After more beers and Red Bull vodka's during the show it was time to depart from ACME and the question now arose..."where should we go." After a few ideas thrown around it was decided to walk over to Club Jager. The walk over would provide for some entertainment as Devin decided to make like Jason Bourne and flee the scene only to arrive later at Jager with an explanation and stories as only Devin could tell. Interesting place to say the least...it seemed to be a mix of old school Germany and the Adams Family from what I remember. Plenty of interesting "individuals" and you almost felt out of place if you had a normal job and didn't have red hair or were "trying to make it as an artist." Not sure how things jumped off after that but all of sudden everyone in our group was on the dance floor doing their best "white man dance" and making fools of themselves during the drunken stupor. Great time and plenty of great pictures I am sure after Alison conveniently had her camera handy. It was then 2 o'clock and after Devin pleaded to the DJ to play more music and after actually physically playing more music himself via his own route to the DJ booth and being scolded shortly thereafter by the DJ, it was time to get the hell out of dodge.
With blood alcohol contents ranging closely to the .2's and everyone closely at their fill we crammed six people into a cab destination Plymouth for a short night cap of mudslides, beer and little did we know...a shit load of pistachios. $50 later we arrived to our destination drunker than skunks ready to drink some more. Well drinking slowly turned to dominating the pistachios and passing out closely followed. Morning came quick and so did Balt's date with "breakfast with the Schley's" as Rick and Mary were in the area at a local Perkins to celebrate the birth of their young son and daughter over a "tremendous twelve" or two.
It is now Sunday night and Monday morning is inching closer and that thing called a "job" is looming to consume your week and life. The 80's band Loverboy did have it right after all...everybody is actually "working for the weekend" and it was a good one at that. Good catching up with everybody and hope to do it again soon!
S
After more beers and Red Bull vodka's during the show it was time to depart from ACME and the question now arose..."where should we go." After a few ideas thrown around it was decided to walk over to Club Jager. The walk over would provide for some entertainment as Devin decided to make like Jason Bourne and flee the scene only to arrive later at Jager with an explanation and stories as only Devin could tell. Interesting place to say the least...it seemed to be a mix of old school Germany and the Adams Family from what I remember. Plenty of interesting "individuals" and you almost felt out of place if you had a normal job and didn't have red hair or were "trying to make it as an artist." Not sure how things jumped off after that but all of sudden everyone in our group was on the dance floor doing their best "white man dance" and making fools of themselves during the drunken stupor. Great time and plenty of great pictures I am sure after Alison conveniently had her camera handy. It was then 2 o'clock and after Devin pleaded to the DJ to play more music and after actually physically playing more music himself via his own route to the DJ booth and being scolded shortly thereafter by the DJ, it was time to get the hell out of dodge.
With blood alcohol contents ranging closely to the .2's and everyone closely at their fill we crammed six people into a cab destination Plymouth for a short night cap of mudslides, beer and little did we know...a shit load of pistachios. $50 later we arrived to our destination drunker than skunks ready to drink some more. Well drinking slowly turned to dominating the pistachios and passing out closely followed. Morning came quick and so did Balt's date with "breakfast with the Schley's" as Rick and Mary were in the area at a local Perkins to celebrate the birth of their young son and daughter over a "tremendous twelve" or two.
It is now Sunday night and Monday morning is inching closer and that thing called a "job" is looming to consume your week and life. The 80's band Loverboy did have it right after all...everybody is actually "working for the weekend" and it was a good one at that. Good catching up with everybody and hope to do it again soon!
S
Friday, January 25, 2008
Screwdrivers
After getting home from work and working out I settled in for an easy Friday night due to the fact that I am a hired slave for Wells Fargo & Co. and I have to work tomorrow morning. I mixed up a few screwdrivers with my Ketel One Vodka and made myself comfortable on the couch for the Timberwolves journey to Boston against Kevin Garnett. The Wolves started out well and were in the game throughout and seemed to actually dominate at times.
Then reality check for Minnesota fans, 25 seconds left with the Wolves up by one and Corey Brewer who was inbounding the ball at mid court gets called for a 5 second call and cant get the ball in and the Wolves turn it over to the Celtics who then score to take a one point lead with 15 seconds left. Randy Wittman calls the timeout and the Wolves inbound again at mid court down by one point. The ball is thrown to Sebastian Telfair at the top of the key after a series of sloppy passes and Telfair gets the ball tipped away by Garnett to mid court and time expires as the players are sprawled out on the floor after the ball. The pups never even got a game winning shot off and KG gets up and is trash talking pointing to his white Celtic jersey as if he has earned anything for that team (see 10 points he scored which were all in the first half! By the way, he was guarded by Ryan Gomes the whole game, who? yeah exactly). Way to go Kevin you just beat the Minnesota Timberwolves (7-35), possibly the worst team in all of current professional sports and you didn't score a point in the second half like you never came through in all of the big games you played with the Minnesota during your tenure. "Come 4th quarter bring it to the ticket," sure Kevin if you would have not been a greedy salary cap hog that you are, maybe you would have won in the playoffs and made it out of the 1st round more than once in your career. I myself think the NBA is horrible in recent years and all the players are all overpaid WITH GUARANTEED MONEY! (See coming segment and Juwan Howard's past contracts) The Celtics have a good squad on paper yes, but I do not think they will win the big one this year and I could see them getting ousted in the Eastern Conference playoffs by the Detroit Pistons and Phil "Flip" Saunders from Minneapolis.
After the game was over, I watched The Bourne Ultimatum in my home theater/surround sound system setup. Great movie with great action. I would recommend this movie if you have seen the first two (Bourne Identity and Bourne Supremacy). Last night I also watched Eastern Promises, which was also a decent flick. Go check them out.
Anyways rubes I am off to bed now as I have to get up in the morning and work for the "man." Peace out-
S
Then reality check for Minnesota fans, 25 seconds left with the Wolves up by one and Corey Brewer who was inbounding the ball at mid court gets called for a 5 second call and cant get the ball in and the Wolves turn it over to the Celtics who then score to take a one point lead with 15 seconds left. Randy Wittman calls the timeout and the Wolves inbound again at mid court down by one point. The ball is thrown to Sebastian Telfair at the top of the key after a series of sloppy passes and Telfair gets the ball tipped away by Garnett to mid court and time expires as the players are sprawled out on the floor after the ball. The pups never even got a game winning shot off and KG gets up and is trash talking pointing to his white Celtic jersey as if he has earned anything for that team (see 10 points he scored which were all in the first half! By the way, he was guarded by Ryan Gomes the whole game, who? yeah exactly). Way to go Kevin you just beat the Minnesota Timberwolves (7-35), possibly the worst team in all of current professional sports and you didn't score a point in the second half like you never came through in all of the big games you played with the Minnesota during your tenure. "Come 4th quarter bring it to the ticket," sure Kevin if you would have not been a greedy salary cap hog that you are, maybe you would have won in the playoffs and made it out of the 1st round more than once in your career. I myself think the NBA is horrible in recent years and all the players are all overpaid WITH GUARANTEED MONEY! (See coming segment and Juwan Howard's past contracts) The Celtics have a good squad on paper yes, but I do not think they will win the big one this year and I could see them getting ousted in the Eastern Conference playoffs by the Detroit Pistons and Phil "Flip" Saunders from Minneapolis.
After the game was over, I watched The Bourne Ultimatum in my home theater/surround sound system setup. Great movie with great action. I would recommend this movie if you have seen the first two (Bourne Identity and Bourne Supremacy). Last night I also watched Eastern Promises, which was also a decent flick. Go check them out.
Anyways rubes I am off to bed now as I have to get up in the morning and work for the "man." Peace out-
S
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