So I have been delaying getting groceries recently because I cant stand going to get them. Crowded, shopping carts, annoying people in my way and over priced food, not to mention carrying all my bags back up to my apartment.
Well today I made the trip to Target to get my food and got my usual stuff that I always get after work. I usually go on the weekend because I don't like doing much after a day of work but today I am glad I went.
It was a normal shopping experience for the most part until the end was near. I finished my shopping and made my way towards the checkout counter and while there I evaluated which one would be the shortest line and the quickest. Of course I picked the wrong one and got behind this overweight African-American lady who was wearing skin tight sweatpants. At first glimpse she looked normal but after closer review I noticed that she had a huge hole in her pants on the inside of her thigh. Were not talking a small hole we are talking like the size of my hand hole, probably bigger. Completely disgusting and at that point I almost asked the lady who was now behind me in line to let me out so I could return all the food I had just picked up because I was convinced I would never be able to eat again.
During that time of glancing back at the lady behind me it was a positive distraction at the time until she started talking to her little baby like a fucking idiot. After awhile another lady had gathered and the topic was how old the kid was, well my daughter is...blah blah blah. I just shook my head in disgust at this fucking idiot talking to her kid like it was a little puppy. You all know what I am talking about. Well I overheard everything you need to know about this baby and about how he was going to get a bath tonight and she wondered what "daddy" was doing. I gathered myself and was able to move past the now idiot behind me and the lady in front of me just finally figured out her check card and how to use the damn thing so it was now my turn. Complete circus...
Finally it was my time at the checkout counter. Things started out normal and nearing the end of my checkout experience I noticed the lady with the baby crowding my shit and her cart was now in front of the place where I had to swipe my credit card. After maneuvering around her cart that she was too busy to move because she was still talking like a fucking idiot to her child who also thinks she is a moron as I am convinced it was that bad. I proceeded to move forward to leave and she jacks the back of my foot with her cart in my heel. At that point I am real pissed and I turn around doing everything in my power to not go off on this fat bitch and I give her the scowl from hell! As I was walking away I heard her whisper to her little kid..."well that guy isn't very nice!" Hahahahaha she was talking about me! Absolutely priceless!!!
Making my way to the exit and shaking my head in disbelief from what had just happened and thinking that nothing would out do this or top this maybe for the rest of the week or maybe even month it happened...I see an African-American female midget with her normal height Caucasian butch-haircut beefy girlfriend!! I shit you not!!!
Of course they were getting into their Ford F-150 pickup. At that point I thought I was dreaming and had to gather myself in my car before I was able to drive and questioned whether what I had just experienced on this grocery shopping trip had really happened or if I was the victim of candid camera.
After realizing that I had not been dreaming and it was indeed reality and no cameras were in sight, I am sure glad I made that trip to Target this Tuesday the 16th of September.
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