So as part of my daily routine I check the mail when I get home from work. Never fails that everyday I get useless information in my mailbox that instantly goes in the trash. This has inspired me to dedicate a blog to these "pointless mailers."
Whoever thought it was a good idea to mail random people pointless information ranging from fake plastic credit cards barfing to you that "you have been pre-approved" or unnecessary coupons for shit that people have never heard of let alone think about using. I seem to get this junk mail a solid 4 or 5 times a week and without hesitation every time it goes in the overflowing trash can in the mailbox area where the rest of the tenants dispose these pointless sheets also as easy and fast as a used Kleenex. This brings a smile to my face and if I am in the right mood maybe even a quiet chuckle. I cant help but think that some person actually thought this was a "good idea" and we just throw the damn things away without even thinking about it. I have yet to meet a person that takes these in their actual apartment and sits down and reads these things and later fills their own garbage with useless trash. This is what the trash can in your mailbox area is for. You all know what I am talking about...
Once again...someone should be fired.
You are not only wasting paper you are wasting my time and effort. I do not want to dig through my plump full mailbox to discover that I have no actual useful mail like bills and shit. Obviously everyone has bills at some point but come on do you need to send me this garbage every single day? I almost get my hopes up when I open my mailbox and see that its full as if I might have something cool like a check or some money or even an Eastbay magazine (got one today)! Lets just say that I hypothetically look through this waste and find something that I might consider using.
For example, a cheap oil change or food coupon. First off that means I need to go to a new place and get out of my routine of going where I usually go (looking up directions, possibly getting lost and new shit in general) and more than likely I will get there and the coupon will not be valid anyway because it is "not honored at that location" or even better "your car doesn't use that kind of oil" so you are not eligible for the oil change that costs the $19.95 and you get stuck paying the same old $39.95 or whatever. Which brings me to my next point...whats with $19.95 or $39.99? Why don't you just charge my ass $20 or $40. Simply ridiculous for the .95 or .99. Some things I just don't understand, its like they think that we think we are getting a good deal for $19.95 because its under $20. Get a life!
So back to my waste of paper rant, save both of us some time and just don't send this crap to me. Use the paper for your joints, doobies or cigarettes or something. Then maybe you can use your own sucky coupons and buy your own ass a "buy one, get one free" pizza during your "munchies."
Why don't you roll that up and smoke it!
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Arrogant Assholes and Complaining Co-Workers...
Just settling in for the debut of Shaquille O'Neal with the Suns against the mousy rodent aka Kobe Bryant led LA Lakers.
If the pregame was not bad enough with Stuart Scott and his messed up eyes leading the way (really though which of his eyes are bad I can't decide), ESPN thought it would be a good idea to give him the supporting cast of Steven A. Smith and the Grateful Dead head, Bill Walton. If Smith is not bad enough on his own with his arrogant opinions and stupid loud voice accompanied by Walton with his extreme and wordy sayings. For example, "If the Lakers are going to win this game, they are going to have to score more points." Really Bill, no shit. Think about what you are saying and please stop giving fellatio to any team that plays in California (UCLA, the Lakers, etc) because it is hard to understand you with a dick in your mouth.
Whoever thought it would be a good idea to put these three morons together should be fired.
Now on to complaining co-workers, we have recently went through a change of procedures and duties at my workplace and it is almost comical to me that some things are never good enough for people who arent qualified enough to even be complaining. Just because you are old and lazy and dont want to change your routine and possibly wake up in your life from your nap called work...zzzzzz.
These are the people that their biggest decision or most important part of the work day is "what to eat for lunch." I like to call them "dead weight." They are also the ones that abuse the overtime and ruin it for the rest of us. Mostly old bitchy, catty, ass women. Sorry ladies but it is true. Just quit your fucking bitching for two seconds and do your fucking job please. Thanks.
I also have the pleasure of being surrounded by certain people in my cubicle area with constant fucking drama in their life. Single dad with troubled kid who is getting kicked out of daycare again and needs to be picked up and then its a battle with his ex-wife of who is going to pick him up and why she is not paying her child support or daycare. On the other side, a nice older lady who is an overprotective mother and is constantly worried about her son and being sick, car troubles, car accidents, talking to her parents, falling on the ice hurting her back, arguing with her ex-husband, late to work, leaving early, etc. WOW can you have any more drama in your life!
Hopefully with change of duties comes change of cubicles. By the way I am very underpaid for the shit that I have to listen to and go through on a day-to-day basis...
If the pregame was not bad enough with Stuart Scott and his messed up eyes leading the way (really though which of his eyes are bad I can't decide), ESPN thought it would be a good idea to give him the supporting cast of Steven A. Smith and the Grateful Dead head, Bill Walton. If Smith is not bad enough on his own with his arrogant opinions and stupid loud voice accompanied by Walton with his extreme and wordy sayings. For example, "If the Lakers are going to win this game, they are going to have to score more points." Really Bill, no shit. Think about what you are saying and please stop giving fellatio to any team that plays in California (UCLA, the Lakers, etc) because it is hard to understand you with a dick in your mouth.
Whoever thought it would be a good idea to put these three morons together should be fired.
Now on to complaining co-workers, we have recently went through a change of procedures and duties at my workplace and it is almost comical to me that some things are never good enough for people who arent qualified enough to even be complaining. Just because you are old and lazy and dont want to change your routine and possibly wake up in your life from your nap called work...zzzzzz.
These are the people that their biggest decision or most important part of the work day is "what to eat for lunch." I like to call them "dead weight." They are also the ones that abuse the overtime and ruin it for the rest of us. Mostly old bitchy, catty, ass women. Sorry ladies but it is true. Just quit your fucking bitching for two seconds and do your fucking job please. Thanks.
I also have the pleasure of being surrounded by certain people in my cubicle area with constant fucking drama in their life. Single dad with troubled kid who is getting kicked out of daycare again and needs to be picked up and then its a battle with his ex-wife of who is going to pick him up and why she is not paying her child support or daycare. On the other side, a nice older lady who is an overprotective mother and is constantly worried about her son and being sick, car troubles, car accidents, talking to her parents, falling on the ice hurting her back, arguing with her ex-husband, late to work, leaving early, etc. WOW can you have any more drama in your life!
Hopefully with change of duties comes change of cubicles. By the way I am very underpaid for the shit that I have to listen to and go through on a day-to-day basis...
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Jesus this, Moses that..Abraham hit me over the head with a whiffle ball bat..
Just got done watching the Purdue/Michigan St game on ESPN and the Boilermakers just beat their second top 10 ranked team in a week. Purdue really has a nice squad this year and their coach Matt Painter could get coach of the year recognition not only in the Big 10, but nationally. They have a squad filled with freshman led by 6-9 white boy Robbie Hummel who can really ball. The Gophers are also playing tonight against Illinois at the barn but due to the fact that my wonderful cable provider Comcast cant come to an agreement with the Big 10 network I am not watching it. I find it hard to believe that these two networks cant come to an agreement after all of this time. Greedy bastards. I mean we live in the middle of Big 10 country yet half of the population cant watch or follow their team no matter how ugly the game is. Just checked the score of the Gophers game and they are down by 13 just starting the 2nd half. Good thing I am not watching it-so much for the Gophs to make the tourney this year, NIT here we come! I am going to the Big 10 tournament in a month or so in Indianapolis so that should provide for some entertaining hoops as long as Wisconsin and their douchebag fans dont win it all or this guy will be real ugly and is not above punching an older man or woman badger fan in their drunken sconnie ass face! If that happens I might be spending a bit more time than expected in the great city of Indianapolis and some of their "facilities."
Twins signed Livan Hernandez today to fill the void on the mound for Johan Santana. Yippy skippy, another washed up fat ass that will never pan out to anything. (See Sidney Ponson and Ramon Ortiz) I put together a group outing for a Twins game at my workplace last year and received an email from the sales rep from the Twins trying to set up another group outing this year. I responded nicely about how we wont be attending due to the fact that the Twins didnt sign Johan or Hunter and then gave a nice bashing to ownership directed at Carl Pohlad and only his desire to make money off the team and not caring about winning. She responded and said she understood. I just laughed. Nice franchise. Pohlad we are still waiting for you to die anyday now. Thanks.
Timberwolves are still competing for the worst record in the NBA. They helped that effort by losing again tonight in New Jersey. They now have 10 wins and 40 losses, its ok though because Randy Wittman is a really good coach and will never get fired because he is friends with ownership (sarcasm is very thick their folks if you dont know me that well). Another laughable franchise, what a joke. Please dont ever pay for a timberwolves ticket this year...they are brutal. Still holding out for the worst record in the league on my end and I say we try to lose the rest of the games this year so we can have a better chance at the #1 pick in next years draft.
Wild are currently down 2-1 in Edmonton with 3 minutes left in the 2nd period. They are simply getting out played. I will try and watch the rest of the game but am not promising anything.
Also enough about this damn ROGER CLEMENS SHIT! Nobody cares anymore and I hope he gets convicted and gets the ELECTRIC CHAIR!!!!!
On a serious note, Kenechi Udeze, defensive lineman for the Vikings has leukemia. Wow, just think about that. You think you have it all and then all of a sudden, bam...you have cancer. Life is really too short. He just had a kid with his wife not too long ago and it is a very sad situation.
Well just thought I would spread the negativity that is Minnesota. Time to continue to look for a new car...
Twins signed Livan Hernandez today to fill the void on the mound for Johan Santana. Yippy skippy, another washed up fat ass that will never pan out to anything. (See Sidney Ponson and Ramon Ortiz) I put together a group outing for a Twins game at my workplace last year and received an email from the sales rep from the Twins trying to set up another group outing this year. I responded nicely about how we wont be attending due to the fact that the Twins didnt sign Johan or Hunter and then gave a nice bashing to ownership directed at Carl Pohlad and only his desire to make money off the team and not caring about winning. She responded and said she understood. I just laughed. Nice franchise. Pohlad we are still waiting for you to die anyday now. Thanks.
Timberwolves are still competing for the worst record in the NBA. They helped that effort by losing again tonight in New Jersey. They now have 10 wins and 40 losses, its ok though because Randy Wittman is a really good coach and will never get fired because he is friends with ownership (sarcasm is very thick their folks if you dont know me that well). Another laughable franchise, what a joke. Please dont ever pay for a timberwolves ticket this year...they are brutal. Still holding out for the worst record in the league on my end and I say we try to lose the rest of the games this year so we can have a better chance at the #1 pick in next years draft.
Wild are currently down 2-1 in Edmonton with 3 minutes left in the 2nd period. They are simply getting out played. I will try and watch the rest of the game but am not promising anything.
Also enough about this damn ROGER CLEMENS SHIT! Nobody cares anymore and I hope he gets convicted and gets the ELECTRIC CHAIR!!!!!
On a serious note, Kenechi Udeze, defensive lineman for the Vikings has leukemia. Wow, just think about that. You think you have it all and then all of a sudden, bam...you have cancer. Life is really too short. He just had a kid with his wife not too long ago and it is a very sad situation.
Well just thought I would spread the negativity that is Minnesota. Time to continue to look for a new car...
Friday, February 8, 2008
Stop lights in my life...
So I have been beginning to wonder if the traffic controllers (people who control the stop lights in the area) are out to get me and just gather around in a circle watching and laughing at me while sipping their coffee as I continually get stopped at every stop light that I encounter. Its beginning to be quite a game for me actually. I have come to the conclusion that if I think about a light turning yellow followed by a quick red as I approach it will instantly turn to my dissatisfaction. Never fails. So now I have come to the conclusion that if I play it cool and dont let the stop light know that I acknowledged it, maybe it will not see me coming and actually stay green. But if I make direct eye contact and think about it, there it goes it just turned yellow and now red. Another opionion from a friend of mine suggested that maybe someone secretly implanted a sensor in my car that works in connection with lights to turn and continually disappoint...especially when I need to get somewhere in a timely fashion.
So for all of you that have played this game...please stop playing and dont let "them" get the satisfaction. I have actually begun to make mock bets with myself as I drive now and have been making a haul in fake money that I have been betting against...well myself. For example, when approaching the next stop light and if its not already red (which I am sure it will be, why wouldnt it) say to yourself "$50 on it turning yellow or red" and you too can start building your fake money account and then you can decide what you want to buy with this "money" as you sit your ass at the red light.
Keep on truckin' on
(Spell check isnt working for some reason on this piece of crap site so please excuse some of the spelling and punctuation)
So for all of you that have played this game...please stop playing and dont let "them" get the satisfaction. I have actually begun to make mock bets with myself as I drive now and have been making a haul in fake money that I have been betting against...well myself. For example, when approaching the next stop light and if its not already red (which I am sure it will be, why wouldnt it) say to yourself "$50 on it turning yellow or red" and you too can start building your fake money account and then you can decide what you want to buy with this "money" as you sit your ass at the red light.
Keep on truckin' on
(Spell check isnt working for some reason on this piece of crap site so please excuse some of the spelling and punctuation)
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
I hate people!
Just got home from the wonderful traffic and the blood pressure is really high so I thought I'd better sit down and write a few things so you can get the full effect.
494 East was a mess today, just today yes. How the hell can it differ from one day to the other? I just dont get it. I mean I understand accidents happen and that leads to jams but what the hell! One day it takes me barely 10-15 minutes to get home and the next its 30 minutes and I have a headache and feel like I am going to have a heart attack. There are some many fucking stupid ass people in this world that the government should really supply helmets to the entire population. Drive like you are from here and not from the Flinstone era. Come on please. Everybody is so concerned to call who ever the fuck they need to talk to so bad or text them that they dont pay attention to the road. (Yes I have done both of these while driving before but feel confident I can do both at the same time without wearing the govt supplied helmet). Just drive people...we all have something better to do than sit in our cars and not be able to move.
I just dont understand how traffic can differ so much from day-to-day. Someone's ass needs to be fired. I am only 26 years old and cant take it anymore. I really hope something changes soon because I am going to end up doing something extreme. This is just getting ridiculous.
Also to further illustrate my point of stupid fucking asses, on my way down to my car today in our heated garage area there is a vending machine for residents to get snacks, etc. Well today I opened the door to go to my car and see glass all over the floor and the vending machine vandalized and the candy nearly emptied. I thought about grabbing a Caramello but then thought otherwise as this question popped into my head at 8:45 am this morning..."who the fuck broke into this vending machine and what the fuck for?" Boy they sure made a hall on that candy, maybe even $40 worth being that I worked for a vending company before and the candy that is in the machine is "dirt cheap" to the vending company and they rip our asses off. I then drove to the office and saw a maintenence guy on the way and passed the word on. He said they did it in another building too and must have been on a late night/into the early morning sugar binge and thought that robbing vending machines would be a good idea.
I just hate people more and more everyday with the stupid small talk, traffic, bullshit that nobody really gives a shit about. I really dont understand how "some" people can actually make it in life day-to-day.
Well my head is going to explode so I am going to watch some tv before I go work out and venture to the gym where I am sure it is filled with retards that haven't received their helmets yet in the mail.
Before I go...Just received word from my roommate who just walked into our apartment that the gym is packed with people and some fucking idiot has his shirt off. I told you guys. Fuck it, I am going to sit my ass on the couch and eat!
494 East was a mess today, just today yes. How the hell can it differ from one day to the other? I just dont get it. I mean I understand accidents happen and that leads to jams but what the hell! One day it takes me barely 10-15 minutes to get home and the next its 30 minutes and I have a headache and feel like I am going to have a heart attack. There are some many fucking stupid ass people in this world that the government should really supply helmets to the entire population. Drive like you are from here and not from the Flinstone era. Come on please. Everybody is so concerned to call who ever the fuck they need to talk to so bad or text them that they dont pay attention to the road. (Yes I have done both of these while driving before but feel confident I can do both at the same time without wearing the govt supplied helmet). Just drive people...we all have something better to do than sit in our cars and not be able to move.
I just dont understand how traffic can differ so much from day-to-day. Someone's ass needs to be fired. I am only 26 years old and cant take it anymore. I really hope something changes soon because I am going to end up doing something extreme. This is just getting ridiculous.
Also to further illustrate my point of stupid fucking asses, on my way down to my car today in our heated garage area there is a vending machine for residents to get snacks, etc. Well today I opened the door to go to my car and see glass all over the floor and the vending machine vandalized and the candy nearly emptied. I thought about grabbing a Caramello but then thought otherwise as this question popped into my head at 8:45 am this morning..."who the fuck broke into this vending machine and what the fuck for?" Boy they sure made a hall on that candy, maybe even $40 worth being that I worked for a vending company before and the candy that is in the machine is "dirt cheap" to the vending company and they rip our asses off. I then drove to the office and saw a maintenence guy on the way and passed the word on. He said they did it in another building too and must have been on a late night/into the early morning sugar binge and thought that robbing vending machines would be a good idea.
I just hate people more and more everyday with the stupid small talk, traffic, bullshit that nobody really gives a shit about. I really dont understand how "some" people can actually make it in life day-to-day.
Well my head is going to explode so I am going to watch some tv before I go work out and venture to the gym where I am sure it is filled with retards that haven't received their helmets yet in the mail.
Before I go...Just received word from my roommate who just walked into our apartment that the gym is packed with people and some fucking idiot has his shirt off. I told you guys. Fuck it, I am going to sit my ass on the couch and eat!
Friday, February 1, 2008
Super Bowl Preview & Prediction
The much anticipated Super Bowl XLII is vastly approaching and the buildup is at its peak. Time for the game to be played on the field and the talking to subside. Along with all of that, comes my much anticipated prediction by all of you readers...courtesy of LoserVille's own here it is.
The Patriots are -11.5 favorites over the G-men from New York. I like the Giants to cover that spread and get the money. I myself put a little something on the spread so of course for obvious reasons I hope the Giants can cover. I think it should be an exciting, competitive game but I think the Patriots will be a drive or two better than the suprising Eli Manning led G-men to complete the undefeated season and go down in NFL history.
My Super Bowl XLII MVP prediction is none other than former Golden Gopher running back Laurence "L-Mo" Maroney as I like to call him cause we close like that. I think he gets the money and has 100+yards and at least a touchdown.
The game will come down to the small gaps in Michael Strahan and Maroney's teeth and should be a good game for the most part pending any weather disturbances like last year. I myself hope that the weather is not an issue because that just makes for a boring ass game.
Hopefully more than one commercial will make me crack a smile for once also. There is so much build up to these that it is uncalled for. I am guessing that Bud Light will have a few people sitting on their couch laughing while others (me) might crack a smile. Super Bowl commercials=overrated. If they wanted to make people laugh they should just hire me to produce a few adds, then we would be talking. Needless to say my hopes are low for the commercials and high for the actual game.
If not, I am sure I will be so full from eating and drinking everything in sight that I will have dozed off by half time Schley style with one arm above the head.
Pizza $30
Tip $6
Beer $25
Seeing Michael Strahan with the huge gap in his teeth and lisp saying "I am going to Disneyland." Priceless
The Patriots are -11.5 favorites over the G-men from New York. I like the Giants to cover that spread and get the money. I myself put a little something on the spread so of course for obvious reasons I hope the Giants can cover. I think it should be an exciting, competitive game but I think the Patriots will be a drive or two better than the suprising Eli Manning led G-men to complete the undefeated season and go down in NFL history.
My Super Bowl XLII MVP prediction is none other than former Golden Gopher running back Laurence "L-Mo" Maroney as I like to call him cause we close like that. I think he gets the money and has 100+yards and at least a touchdown.
The game will come down to the small gaps in Michael Strahan and Maroney's teeth and should be a good game for the most part pending any weather disturbances like last year. I myself hope that the weather is not an issue because that just makes for a boring ass game.
Hopefully more than one commercial will make me crack a smile for once also. There is so much build up to these that it is uncalled for. I am guessing that Bud Light will have a few people sitting on their couch laughing while others (me) might crack a smile. Super Bowl commercials=overrated. If they wanted to make people laugh they should just hire me to produce a few adds, then we would be talking. Needless to say my hopes are low for the commercials and high for the actual game.
If not, I am sure I will be so full from eating and drinking everything in sight that I will have dozed off by half time Schley style with one arm above the head.
Pizza $30
Tip $6
Beer $25
Seeing Michael Strahan with the huge gap in his teeth and lisp saying "I am going to Disneyland." Priceless
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